the ghost of tmi

Dear Lovelies

2010-02-09T22:54:00.000-08:00

Please join me at my new page atma--jnana!

at the airport bar

2009-08-07T20:17:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting at the airport bar - waiting for my flight - waiting for my expensive as fuck well drink -

thinking about the last two days I've been in Vegas. I've been here working on a little project - putting in some heavy hours - so exhausted last night I went to bed early without seeing any of my old dear friends - today I had a nice lunch break with Sean who is always a beauty to see and spend some good time together shooting the shit. After I left work I went to see my 6 yr old niece test for her orange belt in Taekwondo. She passed and was adorable. (She woke me up this morning telling me "It's Pajama Day!!! - It's Pajama Day at Camp!" I was so jealous. I told her that I wished I could have a Pajama Day to which she replied "But you can - because it's also FUN day, and that means Yes!!!"

As I was saying my goodbyes to her she started to cry asking me why I couldn't stay. I say what I always say "I live in LA baby, but I'll be back real soon to see you my love." She cried even harder and told me "I wish that God would have you stay, have you live here!" I kissed her tears away and again told her how much I loved her, that if she ever needed me I would be by her side in a moment, and that next time I would come with the puppy.

The Vegas airport is always something. Leering businessmen, obese people everywhere the eye catches, old women with bleached hair and leathered skin who look as though they gave up food in exchange for hard alcohol and drugs ages ago. A man standing outside is informing a woman who looks as though she has never traveled out of a 15 mile radius from her surroundings that Vegas is just like New York - "I mean, really! It's just the same! You can get Indian food, or Asian food, or I mean, any type of food you want. Exactly like New York! Try the Monte Carlo - whooo!" A little lady who looked like a Sunday school teacher stood nearby me in line, and her phone conversation made it seem that she was involved in some shady drug deal about to go down. I guess even teachers need to cut some breaks for themselves in this place. Far from my days of high school out here where my Algebra teacher also worked part time at Baby Gap to pay the bills.

Going back to LA. Love A.

This man with two martinis in front of him in a tequila bar with a big thick mustache has been staring persistently at me since I sat down here. I keep pulling my crossed legs tighter together wishing he would just go get on a fucking plane already. He is stroking his mustache and my stomach feels queasy.

I'm really happy to be heading back. While my birth certificate states -Las Vegas, Nevada...it's not my home. Home is where the heart is. Always.

Currently Finishing Up:

and thus it was

2009-08-06T17:10:00.000-07:00

I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgeory to remove our godamn smiles. You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of your assholes!

Forwarded Emails from Mom....

2009-07-31T13:04:00.000-07:00

I had a flat tire on the interstate, so I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the trunk. I took out 2 cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic. They look so life like you wouldn't believe it!
They are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies to the approaching drivers.

To my surprise, cars start slowing down looking at my lifelike men which made it safer for me to work at the side of the road. And of course, traffic starts backing up. Everybody is tooting their horns and waving like crazy. It wasn't long before a state trooper pulls up behind me.

He gets out of his car and starts walking towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper!

'What's going on here?'

'My car has a flat tire', I said calmly.

'Well, what are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?'

I couldn't believe that he didn't know.. So I told him,

'Helloooooo, those are my Emergency Flashers.'

This Is The Shit. This Shit Right Here.

2009-07-31T00:14:00.000-07:00

Friday Night

Lo Còr de la Plana & Fishtank Ensemble
July 31 2009, 8:00 PM
GRAND PERFORMANCES - Downtown LA - FREE

The all-male French acapella group Lo Còr de la Plana is unlike any other band touring today. The music is sung in a disappearing language called Occitan. The voices are sometimes augmented with hand drums and tambourines with vocal melodies related to Arabic music, Gregorian chants, and percussive call-and-response hintings from Africa.
LA Weekly calls Fishtank Ensemble “…the rompin', stompin' leaders of cross-pollinated Gypsy music.” This is a wild experience you’ll never forget.

Saturday Night

When trouble needs to be stirred up,
NightHawksLA come out to play.

NightHawksLA Presents
An evening of Art and Music
Where Social Lounge
1519 Griffith Park Blvd.
Silverlake, CA 90026
$10 cover

Featuring Music by:
Cat Hair Ensemble
Fish Circus
Odious Ari & The Syphilitic Syncopaths

And Art by:
Debra Bianculli - Painting
Joey Mason - Illustration
Eva Montealegre - Painting
Dominic Quagliozzi - Painting
Sarit - Photography

Drinks and Fire and so much more . . .

======================================================================================

NIGHTHAWKSLA: i.e, a creative explosion

NIGHTHAWKSLA: A festival, a special event, a space, a gathering, or if you will, a watering hole, for the obscure, the guarders of avant, for experimentation, for noise, for silence, a push pause go, an opportunity to go beyond a happening.

NightHawkLA's mission is to create a new paradigm for live experiences and community, which reflect and comment on the transformation our country and this city are continuously undergoing. Oh, and to do something that is just really cool. Our honorary chairpersons are not famous, but are working artists in the stew that is called "emerging". This is an event that should not be missed....

nighthawksla@gmail.com
www.nighthawksla.com
www.myspace.com/nighthawksla
twitter.com/nighthawksla
Official Site: http://www.nighthawksla.com

Sunday Night

Art & Gardening - Sunday Aug 2nd - 5-7pm
RRCG Sunday Garden Party Series!
Art & Gardening
@ Fountain Community Garden

Live Music by Odious Ari & The Syphilitic Syncopaths.

Talks by Alex Alferov, Maria Massa and Joeseph Prichard of Fountain Community Garden.

$5 suggested donation.

Garden lovelies! We are currently seeking volunteers to help out with future parties and projects! Please contact us if you feel you can help out! : resistanceisfertilela@gmail.

Also, Saturday, August 1st, our friends - NightHawks LA - are having a wonderful art and music party! 9pm-1am @ Where Lounge 1519 Griffith Park Blvd., 90026. $10 Cover.

NightHawksLA

Sustainable lovers! Please bring drinking glasses to donate to RocknRoll Community Garden parties! Let's keep it green, darlings!

RocknRoll Community Garden is currently working with a number of properties to create a Communal Urban Rooftop Community in Echo Park and Silver Lake. RnR CG also provides weekly seasonal series of live music and lectures, integrating education, activism and community with beauty and art. resistanceisfertilela@gmail.com m

Sustainable living friends unite!

Notes to Remember

2009-07-28T01:38:00.001-07:00

"There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. ... No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others"
— Martha Graham

Joy and Pain

2009-07-28T01:35:00.000-07:00

Word Up Brezsny

2009-07-28T01:33:00.001-07:00

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Don't concern yourself with praying to the gods of luck and chance. I'll take care of that for you. Your job is to solicit the favor of the gods of diligence and discipline. Why? Because I think you've got a lot of good work ahead of you — work that will take ingenious attention to detail — and you're going to need the extra boost those gods can provide. Of course, their help won't be enough. You will also have to draw on extra reserves of your willpower in order to express new heights of determination and persistence. Together, you and those no-nonsense deities will be an unbeatable team. The better you organize yourself, the more they will help you get organized. The stronger you push to make your efforts crisp and efficient, the easier they'll make it for you to do just that.

Silly Mom Stuff via Texting

2009-07-22T18:20:00.000-07:00

5:23 pm - Me: Ombudsman is a real word?

6:16 pm - Mom: Yes Ombudsman it is legal term in gov which means watchdog agency

6:17 pm - Mom: and not the bud lite man

Wednesday Night - KILLSONIC

2009-07-14T16:54:00.000-07:00

Take A Chill

2009-07-14T12:43:00.000-07:00

KILLSONIC + Renegade = Fuck Yes!

2009-07-06T23:13:00.000-07:00

For the first time ever, The Renegade Craft Fair is headed to Los Angeles, July 11 + 12 from 11am – 7pm at the California Market Center. Taking over the entire 13th floor penthouse, gorgeous 360-degree views of downtown LA will provide the backdrop for this FREE urban art, craft and DIY extravaganza! Over 200 artists are traveling from all over the country and abroad to participate and sell their handmade goods: from clothing and accessories, to stationery and concert posters, with everything from bath products and ceramics in between.

DJs from KXLU will be on site both days of the Fair providing the best indie,
commercial free radio found on either side of the Mississippi - breaking only for a penthouse-shaking,hour long performance by LA based experimental jazz-punk mobile ensemble KILLSONIC on Sunday, July 12 at 3pm!

We will have available both t-shirts for $12 and our NEW CD for $10. Self-released and self-reliant.

ugh. ugh. ugh. ew.

2009-07-02T19:37:00.001-07:00

KILLSONIC CD RELEASE PARTY - video fun

2009-07-02T18:23:00.000-07:00

Come to the Troubadour tomorrow night!!!

i know what boys like i know what guys want

2009-07-01T20:46:00.000-07:00

Killsonic - The Troubadour - This Friday!!!!!

2009-07-01T19:16:00.000-07:00

GO AHEAD - GET YOUR MIND FUCKING BLOWN

Killsonic, Beatnik Jr., Vanprasta, Angels & Demons
Date/Time:Fri., July 3, 7:30pm

The Troubadour
9081 Santa Monica Blvd.
West Hollywood, CA

(310) 276-6168

Dating Is Fun

2009-06-29T22:54:00.000-07:00

you don't know me at all

I'm Fat and Nobody Likes Me

2009-06-29T11:58:00.000-07:00

This kid may be fat, but come high school, he's gonna be getting so much ass it won't even matter.

KILLSONIC CD RELEASE PARTY - 6-27 - 09

2009-06-26T19:46:00.000-07:00

The highly anticipated release of the second KILLSONIC record takes place June 27, 2009 in the City of Angels.

We are releasing this CD ourselves. We do not have A&R staff. We do not have Sony. We do not have BMG. We have our music and we have you.

$5 = admission to the show
$10 = admission + a copy of the new CD
$15 = admission + CD + 2 drink tickets

ALL AGES

There will be more surprise live acts TBA - Live performances by the MALABOMBA! Welcome Band and DJs Cat Hair, The Duchess, and Jason Savvy - Delicious international food will be served - FULL BAR

Check http://www.killsonic.org for updates

t.g.i.f.

2009-06-26T17:06:00.001-07:00

gonna leave town this weekend.

2009-06-19T14:26:00.000-07:00

1 parking ticket.
1 injured disc in my back.
6 days of steroids.
0 hours of work from my work next week.
30 muscle relaxants.
1 eviction notice.

Weekend Forecast:
Most likely going to make out with a hot guy about 6 years younger than me tonight.
Definitely going to see Goran Bregovic Wedding & Funeral Orchestra @ UCLA Saturday night.
Definitely driving to Vegas Sunday for time w/ the family and a few days to make some cash out there (not that kind of work...)

you wanna dance? I'll fucking dance with you bitch!

2009-06-18T16:04:00.000-07:00

My shady landlord has a history of withholding rent checks of tenants, to suddenly slam them with cashing them way into the future, causing their accounts to fly South, and then handing them a fucking eviction notice. Most people don't like to fight this shit, but me, I can't afford not to, and someone needs to stand up for their fucking renters rights around here.

They put a notice on my door stating my June rent didn't go through. My June rent actually did go through, but my May check bounced. (Cashed a week ago...) This is my response to buy me some time as I can't come up with May's rent in two days, and also, it's going to be July rent time in a hot second. Also, I have people from the councilman's office working with me on this. We shall see what happens....

This letter for LT Properties LLC, Dated this June 20, 2009, in regards to “3-Day Notice to Pay Rent or Move Out.”
The paper you sent me states that I owe $***.** for the month of June (June 1, 2009 to June 30th, 2009.) Attached is bank print out of Check #111 which an agent of LT Properties LLC deposited on 6/8/09 for $***.** (not $***.**.) This check went through immediately upon deposit, so please check your records which will inform you that, in fact, the rent for June 2009, was paid on time.

For all future months, I am going to need to know the hours that the Building Manager will actually be on premises, as I am going to require a receipt monthly upon the payment of my rent. As the rentbox is unable to perform this function, I request being sent the office hours of Manager, or the Office Location and Hours of LT Properties LLC so that I may be given a receipt for all rent monies.

Furthermore, Please be aware for all future correspondence you leave on Apt #***’s door, the date must be correct. This note was put on my door after midnight, making it officially the 17th of June when I received this notification and not the 16th as it states on the scrap fax paper this was printed on. For all future notifications, please be aware that if agent of LT Properties LLC is posting after the close of the business day (5pm) then date on form must show the following date.

My building needs to go back into REAP. No one from any of the Renters/Housing/Tenant Organizations in LA have been able to effectively help us in any way since this new man bought the building. Numerous people are speaking to our contacts at the Councilman's office - and this was basically what I went over with them today

Thanks so much for taking the time to speak with me today.

So, here's my current deal. The landlord withheld my May Rent and deposited it about a week ago at the same time as deposting my June check. I had never noticed that the May check wasn't deposited in May, and this sent my account (which had enough money for 1 not 2 rents at the time) spiraling into the negative along with about $200 in overdraft charges from the bank.

I received a 3 day to pay or move out notice on my door around 1am on the 17th (although the paper states it was the 16th.)

I have seen 6 people that I actually know get evicted in this way - this malicious holding of checks and strategic cashing of later on in order to get people to default on rent. (Most of us here kind of live week by week.) I have lived here for 3 years and have always paid my rent on time every single month. I have been personally cornered and attacked by landlord (***** ******) before when he first took over the building and he was freaking out about all the tenants filing complaints with him to the Housing Department.

The building is filled with trash, cockroaches, and no one responds to maintenance requests. The manager has a different job, is never on site. and doesn't respond to most tenants requests. She is a friend of the owner, and has no experience in Property Management.

No one from the Tenants Unions to the Housing Department has taken any appropriate action against owner. Tenant ******* ****** recently had the Lead Inspector in because it had been about a year she was trying to get owner to address the fact that her bathroom ceiling was wet and caving in. The inspector came in, laughed at her, and then stated that he could only do something about it if he actually saw water dripping. She replied that it takes weeks to even get an inspector over, how could one actually get a person on site when it was dripping (usually when upstairs neighbors take a shower.) He gave her what he said was a direct line number to him. The next day, when ceiling was leaking, she called it - he had given her a fake number. This is what we are dealing with on a daily basis here.

I am an incredibly active young person involved in many aspects of the Silver Lake/Echo Park Community. While I work every day to bridge community, to make my neighborhood an even better place to live, while I give back and volunteer in many different mediums, it kills me that this man is being allowed to act illegally on a daily basis exploiting the tenants and any concept of our rights.

- In addition - is there a legal cap date on when a landlord can cash past checks?

-In addition - The cell phone towers were put up illegally in that the tenants of the building's mail informing us that there would be a public meeting about them, was sent to a different address of landlord, rendering us uninformed. He pulls approx 3 grand a month on them, while our health and rights rot away.

-In addition, all cease work signs from gov. departments (he does construction with no permits) as well as all other signs are taken down from his people the moment they get put up. I do not believe this is legal.

-In addition, The Building Manager has another job and is never on-site. In my understanding, that for a building with 36 units, that an on-site manager is required by law.

My slumlord really should make his FaceBook page Private...

RocknRoll Community Garden - Upcoming Hawtness

2009-06-16T22:17:00.000-07:00

July 12 - Live Music by David Shane Smith - Echo Park - Speakers including Pedra Furmall & FNB
July 19 - Live Music by Motel (Blake Hammon) @ Milagro Highland Community Garden - Lectures by Mary Tokita (LA CGC) & Nichole Gatto
July 26 - Live Music by The Straights - Kombucha Workshop led by Brenda Verenice @ Echo Park Location
Aug 2 - Live Music by Odious Ari & The Syphilitic Syncopaths Overwrought - Talk by Alex Alferov @ Fountain Community Garden - Art & Gardening Demo
Aug 9 - Live Music by Sasha Gransjean @ Barnsdall Art Park - Talk by Jack Neff of South Central Farms and Chi Quong Breathing Technique Class "Relaxation & Mind Intent: The Primary Tool of All Life Forms"
Aug 16- Live Music by Morgan De Rouen - Italian Dinner Garden Potluck w/ Adam Schell - Author of Tomato Rhapsody (Limited #'s - Email to RSVP!!!)
Aug 23 - Join Erik Knutzen & Kelly Coyne's (Urban Homestead) @ Eagle Rock Community Garden for - Workshop: Make a Self-Irrigating Planter
Aug 30 - Live Music by The Cigarette Bums @ Watts Community Garden - Panel Discussion of South Central Farms, politics & Urban Agriculture followed by a tour of their extensive gardens.

Rob Brezsny - FTW! - Pisces Love

2009-06-16T16:27:00.000-07:00

I feel an expansive, permissive mood coming on -- in the cosmos, that is, not me. To be honest, I'm in a more conservative mood than the cosmos. But the planetary powers-that-be have decided to float you poetic licenses, blank checks, special dispensations, and wild cards. I just hope this free stuff won't make you forget about the finely-crafted containers and boundaries you've been working on lately. Maybe I'd feel better if you promised me to keep on doing the careful, conscientious things that seem to have earned you all the good fortune that's on its way.

batshit

2009-06-16T15:18:00.000-07:00

I think "MeMe" is living out an obsessive fear of the fat of her parents. I also imagine, that she's probably not so much fun in bed. Oh- and I am 100% certain that she does have an eating disorder....Oh, and yeah, because I am so obnoxiously opinionated, I will also put out there that changing food culture and fighting industry has absolutely nothing to do with just calling people fat morons. Sorry, but no one likes a shamer.

Surprised?

2009-06-16T15:09:00.000-07:00

Barack Obama is a ninja.

pretty pretty princess

2009-06-16T15:01:00.000-07:00

I completely love this Princess Series by Dina Goldstein. It's been really interesting seeing my niece and her friends obsessions with the Disney Princess characters. Disney's princess campaign definitely wasn't at this place when I was a kid. We mostly played imagination games and I never even owned a Barbie Doll. My niece is all and only about the Princess action. Anyways, I'd love to see this exhibit in person.

get with it

2009-06-16T09:16:00.000-07:00

The Gold Line extending to East LA, Expo Light Rail Downtown to Culver City Extension Plans set (in all hope) for a 2010 opening...
Is LA finally gearing up to Get Moving as well as get Google Public Trans Directions?

new fungus

2009-06-16T08:06:00.000-07:00

I just showed this to lesbian cafe owner, who then kinda vomited in her mouth a little...

Iran...

2009-06-16T07:20:00.001-07:00

Iran's Disputed Election

why am i up so early?

2009-06-16T07:02:00.000-07:00

New Crap Email from a Dude courtesy of Crap: The Blog one of my fave features of site de Lezebel. It's always nice to remember that no matter how weird things can get with the opposite sex, at least I'm not making out with anyone who comes in their pants, then calls me an STD ridden whore. And Good Morning, top of the day to you all!

Sometimes - it's just too surreal - an intelligent Prez -

2009-06-15T21:28:00.000-07:00

well, it's called tmi for a reason

2009-06-15T19:10:00.000-07:00

I was just looking at my old blog, the one I had before this dear little hotmess of a thing, and saw this old poem of mine I wrote about 8ish? years ago. When I moved to LA from NY someone had passed this piece along to a woman who read it. She contacted me and asked me to perform it at some huge corporate charity gala out here. I was to be paid $300 to read for 2 minutes, so I was all like - yeayaw!

We were supposed to come in earlier that week (myself and the 4 other female poets - this was a benefit to raise money for an established and celebrity funded Violence Against Women Awareness program) and just do our pieces in front of the companies board members. I performed my piece for them, and then the next day I received a phone call asking me if I could take out all the swear words as well as specific body part references. I told them, yes. I mean, all words are are a cover for subtext. Plus I needed the cash, so...Whatever. Then, later on that day they called back to inform me that they could not have me perform and that I could still come and pick up my check....for the trouble. I did.

While I have never laid claim to being some great or even mediocre poet (man...I just write to get myself by) I was a wee bit upset by this to say the least. The other women had pieces that, well, to put it one way, weren't angry (safer for a corporate board?) This older lady had a piece about a father molesting her and it was incredibly baby-ied down, like, victim style and had this elaborate repetition involving her holding a teddy bear.

I was one of 2 twenty somethings that were set for the performance, and you know, I think this reflects that. I was raped when I was 16. I was a virgin. The guy who did this to me was part of my high-school group of friends. I didn't speak about it for a long time, I never processed it or even understood it as being rape (you really don't learn what date-rape is...until...) I never started speaking up about these things until I went to college. I wrote this when I was in school. I never told my mother about it until about a year or so ago. After I was raped, the day after literally, I became anorexic/bulimic and struggled with that for about a decade. There was a lot of shit stewing sill when I wrote this one...

I haven't performed this piece in years. Whenever I used to, I always had women come up to me and thank me for sharing. They all had stories (and they, all strangers, then shared them with me) Don't we all. It's one thing to read my stuff, and it's an entirely different thing for me to perform this one. I performed in bars - and I played up the sexuality in the beginning - guys would holler - they thought I was doing some hot lesbian piece- and then it would get really, really, quiet. And yes, it is angry. But fuck man, that's part of the fucking process. I think it's bullshit to censure (which I felt happened to me) anyone who dares to talk, scream, or even fucking yell about the reality, about dealing, about coping, with these things, these realities which affect mostly every woman. In the world. From eating disorders (control-control-control issues) to violence, to rape, to molestation, to fillintheblankwiththatwhichhappenstoawomaneverysinglesecond. It is our job, and it is my job, to vocalize, to share, to spread, what I feel with an utmost urgency, a need to talk about it. We can't deal with what's hidden. So here is my angry, juvenile attempt of understanding what happened to me. And stayed with me. On prom night.

(Btw-About a year ago I met this woman out in LA. She's from my hometown. I never knew her from there. We have a mutual friend. Who told her about this. She told me, when I met her, that this same fellow, raped her too. She was in high-school. She was a virgin. I wonder what would have happened, if one of us, just one of us (and god knows how many he did this to) had spoken out. Had pressed charges....)

Prom night. Prom night senior year, so I asked her to skip the dance. Skip the dance and come over. You're just a sophmore; you have two more chances for prom. But me, I'm leaving this hot city. Leaving. And all I want is for you to come over.

She came over, and I showed her around my apartment. Showed her my collection of Bad Religion posters, showed her my living room, showed her my kitchen, showed her my bar. And I poured her a drink - a stiff screwdriver - I put a little of my special mix into it - my ladies mix - my mix for the special young sophmore with perky tits and a tight ass mix.

And I sat her on my couch - my balding brown and grey couch and she was wearing these shorts. These shorts were just asking to be fucked/just begging to be fucked. These white/tight/cordorouy shorts and I just wanted to stick my hand up there. I just wanted to take my fingers and press up into that little virgins box. That hot city/of lights/of lust/those hot shorts with those beautiful thighs/those creamy smooth thighs that I wanted to leave my cream all over.

She finished her drink/my special mix drink/it was already working/so i ran my fingers through her wild hair/I worked her neck towards my lips/i ran my hand up in between her beautiful thighs/her eyes rolled back as she stammered "I don't feel good - that drink was strange/so I whispered just relax baby/it's prom night/i'll take care of you/so i picked her up/threw her over my shoulder/brought her to my bed/and laid that sweet ass down.

It's such a hot city/such a hot night/let me take these clothes off for you/and i kept kissing her/i had to keep kissing her so she'd quit saying stop/and i had to keep ramming my tongue down her throat so she'd quit saying no/and i put her hands behind her head and told her

Now I really want to show you something/you're ready/you've waited your whole life for this/for me/my cock/so i showed her/and i pulled my dick out from my pants and got on top/her eyes were closed/she was blacked out/as i positioned myself for that tight virgin pussy/for that dry cunt/and i began to thrust/and began to thrust/and began to thrust.

When I finished/I put her back on the couch/wiped the blood from her thigh/fixed those little white shorts/she would never remember

she would never remember

it was prom night

and me

i'm leaving this hot city

america likes it when you're anorexic and quiet

2009-06-15T13:54:00.000-07:00

I think Jezebel Dodai is an incredible editor. I also think she is quite a righteous lady. Thanks Dodai for getting to the fat of the matter. Hehehe.

Ditto's weight is the focus of seemingly every article and interview about/with her. It's sexist, and strangely enough, it feels weird this new fetishizing of her by the fashion industry for being the token fierce fat chick. To be a woman - to be loud - to be a fucking rock star - to be queer - to be fat- and not be apologizing for it - to not be i'm a sorry fat fuck about it - is what scares them. Ditto is a role model because she is a Strong woman, who fucking Wails, who fucking Kills it, who doesn't say Sorry I'm going to be a quiet repressed sad little skinny girl in the corner.

bloggin' much?

2009-06-12T17:43:00.000-07:00

So - I haven't been at my job job all week - Hence the weeks outpouring of blogginess. My family has been going through an ordeal (to say the least, which, randomly enough and in total regards to this, I have and I will) so my days have been largely spent at the coffeeshop downstairs, which is where my bra broke this morning (although I do wish I had some wild story entwined with the breaking of it, some passionate and sordid affair - but alas, I have none).

I went to one of my favorite shops in Silver Lake today, and tried on some pretty new bras. The one I selected had no price tag on it, so I brought it over to the cashier. She informed me that it was $80. Don't they fucking recognize that there is a RECESSION going on??? Don't they realize that everyone has lost either their benefits (if they even had any) their jobs or most of their gawddamned hours???

I left with no bra. Maybe now I will go sit in the corner and cry about my privileged life slipping away. Or maybe I will just drink some cheap wine and keep fucking around on FB.

----Oh, and on another randomass note - Any of you notice what the owner of El Conquistador did to the Triangle Park Fountain right off Sunset and Edgecliffe? Thanks man! It looks like the fucking Lakers threw up on my block. Stop it already. (Have already made plans w/ the $5 man to paint it over like a rainbow late at night.)

Mystic

2009-06-12T16:49:00.000-07:00

I was searching for a video of Mystic's - Once a Week from Cuts for Luck and Scars for Freedom today, only to turn up empty handed. Her album, released in 2001, goes down in the record book of being one of my Top 10 of all time.

She is all fierce poetry and wildlovemadness. Wikipedia informs me that of 07 she was working on a second album. Man - it's 09. When we gonna get to hear some more of her shit??? Check it Mystic on Myspace.

The only long bf/gf relationship I have ever been in was in college, which lasted about 4 years (both college and the boyfriend). I was quite bad at it, being that I was regularly, ahem, ummm...disloyal (to put it one way). It's not that I didn't love him (which I did tremendously), but..well, I'll spare you an analytical psycho-breakdown of my past history.

Once A Week remains to this day to be the closest approximation in song of how I feel about certain types of relationships. I mean, one day, one would hope, that I would find a person I'd want to last with, to stay together with. But..that's just never really been my style. It's confusing at times, being that our society is so obsessed with the idea of monogamy and this pretense that you can get everything from just one person (1. Not True 2. Btw, check out Divorce Rates....and add to this me not even getting into the fear the mainstream wishes to ingrain upon all single women that they will 1. Die Alone with cats watching them choke or 2. Must be a useless unloveable person if they are actually single past 20.) While there are many cultures and societies that have much more open views on love and lovers, ours is for sure not one of them. While my old friends continue to get married and babied up, I have to continue creating my own steps for a gameplan that was never laid out for me w/ societal instructions...Maybe I should just move to France ;)

So, think about it let me know how you feel
You either with or you not, let me know the deal

more condom fun for today...

2009-06-12T16:44:00.000-07:00

Such tragedy could have been easily avoided.

things that make you go wtf!

2009-06-12T09:48:00.000-07:00

I'm not even gonna bother talking about this or this but will skip straight to my less obvious WTF of the morning -Consent Condoms.

Intended as an anti-date rape device, this is the biggest FAIL I've seen since that tampon vampire marketing ad... And what's up with the endless repetition of "Be Adult." Be Adult? - Makes me think of that cheer - "Be Agressive! Be Be Agressive!"

4 minutes 8 seconds - let's bring back bulimia next

2009-06-11T00:40:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what this video does for me. So...let me just give myself a pop quiz.

How to Dirty Dance makes me:

A: Want to vomit my dinner.
B: Disgusted in the deepest most "america is so fucking sexually repressed kinda-way" so this is what we deserve i fucking guess.
C: Hopeful for the future, being that at least I am not a baby boomer at this concert.
D: Happy, because hey, even old white folk should learn how to grind.
E: Just keep adding to the ever-lengthening list from this week of what exactly "lame-ass shit and lame-ass people" are.
F: Excited to try out the sperm fish dance move at the Short Stop on Sunday.
G: Want to go get another drink.

Ummm. So, yeah, I've got cold vodka in the freezer. Peace Out kids!

Half-Mast Ass

2009-06-08T21:27:00.000-07:00

Has anyone else been noticing the current down pouring of ass flashing sweeping through the streets of Eastish LA?

I was headed out for some vegan tom yum the other day, carrying along with me the hope that it would be the cure to my current cold (or pure exhaustion/or itsbecauseihavebeenpartyingwaaaaaytoomuch) symptoms. Along the way I counted two different male cracks exposed upon Sunset (and not by any homeless men, say, you know, going to the bathroom on the street as I have seen a number of times.) On my return trip, I counted 1 more, rendering the sick feelings to reemerge. A previous day at a sushi joint in Silver Lake, one of my girlfriends spotted lady crack at the sake bar. Last night, 2, count em, 2 different crackages from average joe's beaming through the smoky patio of the Red Lion. Oh, and one girl crotch, but (in her defense) well, she was clearly super wasted.

When I was in high school, many guys were into the boxer backsides hanging on out.
In college, girls in low hipped jeans showed off ass floss (g-strings for those not in the know) at all keggers and house parties.

So, my question, in this current time of recession and struggle, is, is this a backwards slide into a re-interpretation of past trends??? Or, has everyone just gotten too fucking lazy to cover up their cracks in public???

RocknRoll Community Garden

2009-06-08T20:42:00.000-07:00

love sounds great

2009-06-08T13:44:00.000-07:00

Killsonic @ Spaceland 09

2009-06-08T11:58:00.000-07:00

See full set @ Good ol' Charlie Brown's Flickr.

Sweat. Dance. Hard. Harder.

2009-06-07T16:07:00.000-07:00

June 11 - 2009 - 9pm -BBB takes over the Key Club

J.A.M. Sessions @ The Ford

2009-06-07T15:52:00.000-07:00

Check out the awesome free music sessions @ The Ford.

I'm already RSVP'd for a couple of the sessions. For instance,

SqueezeBox 101
Mon. June 8 at 7:00 p.m.

From Zydeco, to Tex-Mex, to Cajun music, session leader Otoño Lujan of Los Pochos involves participants in playing the accordion. If you don’t have one, we can provide some.

FREE
Reserve a spot by calling the Ford Box Offices at 323 461-3673.

From DIY Drumming, to Flaamenco Dance, to Son Jarocho dance moves, this is a pretty sweet program. Thanks Ford!

JAM Sessions

smurfette

2009-06-07T03:22:00.000-07:00

i hear her silent cries
past the mojave
sonic booms of sadness though the desert night
hold on
hold on
my love

i hear you
and i wish i could hold your hand
and i wish i could wipe the tears
from your alabaster face
and i wish i could leave some chamomile to steep for you
and i wish i could make you happy
and i wish i could make you know
utterly and infinitely
just how loved you are
and i wish i could supply you with people
to surround you
whom you could always trust
and i wish i could brush your hair
and sing you to sleep
the sweetest dreams
and to wake up
with the taste of hope on your tongue
and the breathe of life in your nostrils
and i wish i could just hold your hand right now
and tell you
that it's all going to be ok
that it's all going to be alright

i love you my little one
i love you my beautiful one
l love you
with a fierceness unknown to all others
be strong
be strong
be life

i hear her silent cries
past the mojave
sonic booms of sadness though the desert night
hold on
hold on
my love

we'll show you who's post-punkiest

2009-06-05T12:07:00.001-07:00

Fuxshitup!

Photo by KTLA

Emails From Mom...Cont.

2009-06-02T17:35:00.001-07:00

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

I'm just passing this thought along .....

Have you ever wondered if one of the one dollar bills in your wallet were ever in a strippers's butt crack?

If not, you're wondering now.

Have a nice day . :)

i can't sleep

2009-06-02T03:23:00.000-07:00

Maybe it was the 12 hours of sleep I got last night after a month of getting about 3 or 4 hours of sleep all night. Or maybe it was the caffeine today. Or maybe it's because of the chords and keys and notes running through my head. Or maybe it's because of my overpacked overscheduled overstimulated days. Or maybe it's because of people, and things, and thoughts, and confusions, and directions, and desires. Or maybe...fuck it. This is KILLSONIC at No on 8 March. Pics by Jason Savvy.

S.T.F.U.

2009-06-02T00:45:00.000-07:00

When the fuck is this guy going to get taken off the fucking air already!!!

i can hear the mexican radio....

2009-06-01T21:41:00.000-07:00

I'm at work till at least midnight tonight.

I killed a cockroach in my apartment before coming here. Strangely enough, I don't feel any remorse about it.
I do, however, take it as another sign of incompetent building management. As well as the swiftly approaching summertime heat.

Keeping out of trouble all week. Practicing. Running. Yogaing. Clean Clean living. Until Friday that is...

Sipping on watermelon juice....Setting up drums...Troubleshooting RF...

This Friday!!!!

2009-05-31T23:30:00.000-07:00

KILLSONIC will kill Spaceland. Come! Dance! Drink! Blow your fucking mind!

OMFG

2009-05-31T12:09:00.000-07:00

I don't know what I did in a past life or what I'm doing now to deserve receive accept such incredible general awesomeness, but fuck it, I'm down for the party. From last night's insane show, to everyone going wild dancing, to a fucking conga line breaking out, to the first chants of "encore" I have ever heard as a musician, to the sweet sweet evening of sipping beers on rooftop with all my new friends who already are family, to the new orkestra burleska members, oh man fuckitiallitsalljustsoincredibleandlifesheisabeautifulbeautifuldream....

texts from last night...

2009-05-30T04:13:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that with some of my drunken texts o late, that I haven't ended up here yet...

(410): so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero

Man....And it's not even summer yet...
T.F.L.N.

While I have never received a DUI, I did receive a new rent increase notice on my door. It was put there sometime between 1 and 3:40am. Apparently some people think a 30 day notice translates into a 1 day notice.

I need to start deleting numbers.
As well as speak to my building manager...

(214): Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.

waaaay past my bed time.

want music???

2009-05-29T20:52:00.000-07:00

Hi friends!

Summer is coming, so it's time to start spending more time out-of-doors.

This Saturday, 05-30-09 at 5PM KILLSONIC will be playing for free in MacArthur Park. This will be a guerrilla street performance happening in all likelihood somewhere near the lake. It is not a huge space, so we should be easy to find. Just listen. Wilshire and Alvarado.

Following that on 05-30-09, KILLSONIC will be throwing a party at Gallery 2023 in downtown L.A. It's a large loft space with DJs Jason Savvy and The Duchess, rooftop access, live music, cash bar, and great art on display.
The party runs from 9 PM - 2AM.
There is a $5 donation. KILLSONIC is going to NYC in September.
Upstairs at 2023 S. Santa Fe Ave.
Los Angeles, Ca 90021
http://www.gallery2023.com

more info at:
www.killsonic.org

Gypsy Jam (yeah...sorry, but no better name - that's what it is!)

2009-05-27T19:56:00.000-07:00

I have a gypsy musician friend visiting Thurs...
we want to have fun, play music, make party...
so my buddies next door @ "Where"
are graciously opening their space to us Thurs night from 7-12 to play!
They'll be supplying a bar...
Everyone is invited to come and play, practice, invite friends...dance...!

Gypsy Jam
Thursday May 28
7pm-12am
@ WHERE
1519 Griffith Park Boulevard
Silverlake, CA 90026

Killsonic Rocks the Hollywood Prop 8 March

2009-05-27T14:51:00.000-07:00

http://laist.com/2009/05/27/post_87.php

....

2009-05-25T13:16:00.000-07:00

I like staring out of my studio window to see the old lady tending to her garden. Sometimes the kids run around laughing and screaming darting in and out of the fabrics hanging off the clothesline.

I spent too much time playing with babies over the weekend not to think that I need to more actively address my issues concerning intimacy.

I woke up in my car this morning and all I know is that there is someones arms I would rather be waking up in. And if I was, whatever, I wouldn't care if that was in a car, or a tent, or a boat, or in a bed.

Gardeners are nice people.

Someday soon, I am going to pick my first tomato I planted ever. It is going to be juicy and fresh and plump and dripping with unbelievable goodness. And I am going to share it.

The humans capability to change is what creates Hope.

Our capacity to Love is what creates Life.

you just can't force things

2009-05-25T12:56:00.000-07:00

The Fuxedos' Debut CD Release Party! Plus Killsonic, Quazar and the Bamboozled, and moxy phinx

2009-05-22T00:12:00.000-07:00

The Fuxedos/Danny Shorago
Friday, June 5, 2009 at 8:30pm
Spaceland

WHAT: The Debut CD Release Party of The Fuxedos! http://www.fuxedos.com

In addition to stellar performances by the band, our eponymous debut features terrific mixing by Steve "Steve B" Baughman, whose credits include Snoop Dogg, Michael Jackson, and Eminem, believe it or not; and masterful mastering by Dylan "3-D" Dresdow, who's worked with everyone from the Black Eyed Peas to U2 to the Wu-Tang Clan.

We'll also be joined for the night by special guests Killsonic, Quazar and the Bamboozled, and moxy phinx.

WHO: Killsonic is a 20 plus-member, Latin/jazz/Gypsy/punk mega-band of marching sonic guerrillas. "Swathed in red scarves and homemade insignias, the local jazz-punk 20-piece soon sold the captive audience on their brand of highly technical and freewheeling bombast. With no fewer than five vintage squeezeboxes and a horn section blessed with a handful of virtuosos, Killsonic marched their final song out of the venue and finished as they hit the street."
-- LA Weekly

http://killsonic.org/

Quazar and the Bamboozled is an unusually fun rock & roll band with a strong classic New Orleans R&B influence -- they're sort of a cross between Dr. John and the infamous Dr. Teeth & The Electric Mayhem band from "The Muppet Show." The band has appeared live with everyone from the Peking Acrobats to the Ditty Bops, including a performance at the Hollywood Bowl.

http://www.myspace.com/quazarandthebamboozled

moxy phinx features the dramatically twisted vocal stylings of the lovely Katrina Lenk, who was recently named Best Musical Performer at the LA Weekly Theater Awards (as the lead in "Lovelace: A Rock Opera"). Described as a hybrid between Bjork and Marlene Dietrich, she'll be accompanied by and interacting with six dancers choreographed by Janet Roston.

http://www.myspace.com/moxyphinx

WHEN: Friday, June 5. Doors at 8:30, show starts at 9 pm sharp.

WHERE: The legendary Spaceland, 1717 Silver Lake Blvd., LA 90026.

http://www.clubspaceland.com/

HOW MUCH: A ridiculous bargain at $8.

Fuxshitup!
http://www.fuxedos.com

Get a head start w/ RnRCG - Volunteer This Sunday!

2009-05-22T00:11:00.001-07:00

Looking for a few volunteers for this sundays secret garden party! If any of you are interested, available, or interestingly available, check it yo - before we wreck it ( you shall receive yummy vittles and vino ;) and good karma! )

(rocknroll community gardens is a not for profit community collective which runs through a membership program)

We need:
- One person to assist our gorgeous gypsy caterer.
- One person to help out at the garden doors
- One person to assist our sexy ass bartender
- One person to help us keep things sparkling during the event
- One person to help us make things even prettier on saturday (day before event)
- Any people who can donate a couple of chairs or tables for the evening

let us know

resistanceisfertilela@gmail.com

love and tomatoes,
danielle and alissa

...this lil' piggy...

2009-05-21T21:05:00.001-07:00

Mary Roach: 10 things you didn't know about orgasm

2009-05-21T10:43:00.001-07:00

the gypsies are calling you

2009-05-20T22:53:00.000-07:00

May 24th - 6-8 RocknRoll Garden Party Mixer @ The Secret Garden

May 24th - 9 - LJ Open Mic @ Bedlam Speakeasy

May 30th - 5 - Killsonic @ MacArthur Park 10 - 2023 Gallery

Rocknroll Garden Party Mixer - May 24th

2009-05-20T22:25:00.001-07:00

We're very excited to get the first RockNRoll Community Garden function off the ground!

This will be a cozy, intimate evening to allow people to meet and greet - to get to know more about what will be happening and available with the RockNRoll Community Garden.

Guest speakers including:

Al Renner, Director of LA Community Garden Council. Topic: Edible Urban Farming

Pedra Furmall, Assistant Arboretum Gardener for LA County Department of Parks and Recreation. Topic: Water-Wise Gardening with Cactus and Succulents.

Tara, Owner & Garden Guru of Silver Lake Farms. Topic: Legal Issues in the Home Garden

Featuring live music by Joseph Gárate & The Lexingtons!

Fresh, local, organic vegetarian cuisine with be served along with organic wine!

Detailed information for speakers, musicians, and our Garden will be shortly updated to www.rocknrollcommunitygarden.blogspot.com

For More Info: Contact Danielle or Alissa @ resistanceisfertilela@gmail.com

How does your garden grow.... :)

RocknRoll Community Garden plans to create the 3rd rooftop garden/farm in Los Angeles. We are based in the Echo Park community, and will feature an ongoing weekly series of gardening, urban farming lectures, self-sustainability demonstrations, live music and drinks.

RocknRoll Community Gardens is a membership based collective, run by Danielle Marie Holland & Alissa Kueker. Resistance is Fertile!!!

these boys make me sweat..

2009-05-19T15:15:00.000-07:00

Best Girl Group Ever?

2009-05-17T22:15:00.000-07:00

Coko's Nails.
Oral Sex Jam.
FTW.

Emails From Mom...Vol. III

2009-05-15T16:56:00.001-07:00

(She didn't write this btw, Just forwarding...)

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that 'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.'

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. 'Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.'

She calmly turned her head and said, 'In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one.'

To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied , without missing a beat,
'Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray -up, Bitch'

Gallery 2023 -Saturday Night Bishes!

2009-05-15T03:03:00.000-07:00

Saturday, May 16, 2009 at 7:00pm
Gallery 2023
2023 S. Santa Fe (between 15th and Washington) in Downtown L.A.

Artist Tommy Mose Abbott, has invited Dorian Wood to perform at the inauguration of his fantastic space in Downtown L.A. From 8pm till 10pm, he will be leading a procession of ladies (HEY KIDS - I'M ONE OF THE LADIES - PLEASE COME OUT!!!! <3) through the crowd. He's afraid he cannot go into specifics at this time. But he strongly urges you to make it to the event somewhere between 8pm and 10pm. He will also be doing a full set at midnight. Also performing: Tommy Santee Klaws, Slings and Josh Hedlund

Experience The Power: KILLSONIC

2009-05-14T23:55:00.001-07:00

Photos Courtesy of Matador y Toros

Gardens of Gratitude

2009-05-13T18:34:00.000-07:00

May 16 & 17 - Garden Challenge Los Angeles

*Is it possible to transform a town into an edible oasis in one weekend?*

Imagine cruising around town with friends and neighbors in a garden planting celebration like no other! Imagine hundreds of people doing this all over the Westside on the same weekend – as one giant party of Gratitude!

Join us in making our town an abundant, edible paradise of fruits, berries, nuts, veggies and flowers!

Grow your "Victory" Garden planted during our Gardens of Gratitude event!

Get the deets here!

MALABOMBA! OPA-NING NIGHT!!!! (tonight kids!)

2009-05-13T12:48:00.000-07:00

The Gypsy Road now leads to Bordello, and the caravan's picked up some new flavors along the way: Balkan Beats. Romany Rock 'n Roll. Turkish Garage. Persian Mambo. Ethiopian Soul. Bollywood Funk. Peruvian Psychedelia. Soviet Disco. And more!

MALABOMBA! embraces the wanderlust spirit of the Roma culture to bring you an international dance party like The City of Angels has never seen.

FUCK BORDERS - LET'S DANCE!

WEDNESDAY MAY 13th 8 PM - 2 AM
$5 entrance all night 21+
at the Bordello Bar 901 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA 90012

DJ Duchess, DJ Jason Savvy, DJ Cat Hair - Live brass performances by The MALABOMBA! Welcome Band - FULL BAR

This is going to be the best party ever! Do I look like I'm fucking kidding?

I believe...

2009-05-12T17:25:00.000-07:00

I believe these women have made it impossible for me to ever use the word opposite again.
I believe that vocalizing ones opinion is very different from vocalizing what's on a script for a company's PSA.
I believe, in fact, that it's quite the OPPOSITE (shit. i did it.)
I believe this is annoying, and I believe I just had my hair did and that it looks really good.
I believe the children are our future, and that we should treat them well and let them lead the way.
I believe that having an orgasm is better than not having one.
I believe in the power of a tall glass of hard nostalgia.
I believe that if you pay for someone's new boobies, then you shouldn't mind if they take photos of them which get leaked online.
I believe in cuddles.
I believe that Aretha knows a bit something about respect, and that yeah, you should give it to her (just a little bit.)
I believe in gettin' jiggy with it.
I believe there are thousands and thousands of people who don't take pride in their states diversity.
I believe that beauty pageants are redoncadonk.
I believe in the fresh wise words of salt n pepa - opinions are like assholes everybody's got one.

It's Opposite Day

2009-05-12T11:36:00.000-07:00

That Evil Evil Wind and That Dirty Dirty Photographer

I'm tired of all the Carries and Bristols. I want more Felix!

It's not happening....

2009-05-11T20:10:00.000-07:00

my laundry is almost done!!! friday night success song!

2009-03-28T00:24:00.000-07:00

5 albums that still burn with memories of a past love...

2009-03-27T23:21:00.000-07:00

Hunky Dory - David Bowie

Rufus Wainwright - Rufus Wainwright

Vaya - At The Drive In

Sketches (For My Sweetheart The Drunk)- Jeff Buckley

Jagged Thoughts - American Steel

5 songs that will always remind me of effin epic road trips i was once on

2009-03-27T23:16:00.000-07:00

Car

If I Ever Feel Better

198d

Lover's Spit

Cause = Time

5 songs that capture an extreme time of transition in my life

2009-03-27T23:07:00.000-07:00

Creep

Landslide

Everybody's Free

Somewhere Only We Know

The Scientist

i think ya did i think ya did

2009-03-27T22:19:00.000-07:00

the thrill can kill

2009-03-27T22:16:00.001-07:00

he told her

2009-03-27T22:01:00.000-07:00

he said she'd be a lesbian
if she didn't love dick so much
he said she was so pretty now
beautiful now that she dressed like a girl
he offered his face for her to sit on
a minute before she kicked him out of her house
he barked at her how he'd like to lick
her and where he would start
and how he would finish
and she found this information
to be too intimate
too much even coming from brunch
coming from a strange man walking down the street behind her
he whistled and screamed
he throttled he croaked
he asked if the drapes matched the carpet
he asked her if she spits or swallows
he asked her who's her daddy now
he pushed her head down
and then fucked her while she was blacked out
he said she was too independent
he didn't like her male friends
and thought she must be fucking them
of course
she got dolled dressed up
made up real nice
and he took her out for a meal she paid for
cuz he left his wallet and shoes at home
but gave her a trash can
a kettle and something black from victorias closet
and talked about her blow job skills over dessert
he spent the night with some friends who were girls
and made her feel bad for it
so he called her a whore a slut
and then tried to fuck her
he said she looked like she hadn't had any for some time
and said she could have a threeway with him
he said wow you look like you've gotten so much smaller
are you anorexic again
wait - you're small but you were tiny then
she told him she just had a bad break up
and he woke her up one evening naked
claiming that she was coming on to him
and for fucks sake
he paid for her plane ticket
what was she thinking
she clearly wasn't
and he told her he didn't know what love is
till the one day he changed his mind
and he told her he could never trust her again
and then he said he was a premature ejaculator
because before he became an atheist
he had been a catholic
cuz that makes sense
and he told her that he was pro choice
but if she ever got pregnant
he wouldn't be
which made her decide
that if she were ever pregnant
she wouldn't tell him
and was thankful she never was
and one day she really thought
she really wondered
if the dick was all worth it
that maybe
just maybe
....

lead

2009-03-27T21:51:00.000-07:00

one drink can turn into five
and five can lead to an angry missive
or a reckless sexual encounter
that was never worth your time
but its so much easier to give your body
in place of your heart
in lieu of your mind
its celebrated here in fact
but you all already knew that.

one touch can lead to a kiss
can lead to a broken condom
left unnoticed
or at the very least
unmentioned
leading to...
leading to...
one touch can lead to a longing
an overwhelming desire
manifested with a deadpan
consumer consumption
or mindless Internet stalking
over analyze agonizing
and dreams of a different life.

one friend can lead to another
one gift opens one more blessing
one celebration can lead to a dance
to a drink to a smoke to
one late night fuck
and sometimes
just sometimes
to one hearts door
opening leading into anothers
beyond all comprehensible sense of knowing
of being known
the essence of
wonderment
of vast imagination

one silence can lead to many
to moments too rich to share
we know more about the stars
than we do about love
yet the stars in the moonlight
can lead just to that

Everybody Today is Turning On...

2009-03-23T22:46:00.000-07:00

I'm starting a liquid cleanse tom am...But this lil' number is such a charmer!

It's my Birthday!!!! It's Spring!!!!!

2009-03-20T11:13:00.000-07:00

I am so grateful!
I am grateful to be blessed with such an amazing family. Their infinite support gives me strength and foundation. I am grateful to be blessed with such incredible friends! My old and my new, these relationships have shocked me with my own hearts capacity for loving and giving. They bring Joy and Laughter and all that is Beauty-Full into my days. I am grateful that I have a life that allows for me to give time and space to my health, wholeness and wellbeing. When you are at peace with yourself you are at peace with the world.

Happy Spring all you FunnyBunnies!!!
xoxoxoxo

Dear Facebook

2009-03-19T09:29:00.000-07:00

Darling,

I really do love you. Let that be known.

But...(and there is a but) I feel that our relationship has taken an unhealthy turn, and with that, I believe that we truly ought to go our separate ways.

I feel I have given up so much to dedicate myself to you, to be committed. After long months of thoughtful consideration, I finally broke it off with Myspace. It's true I messed around with Twitter for a short time, but honey, it was nothing serious and it's all over now. You were my beacon of light, and darling, now my light is dim and dull.

You allow for weird men to "poke" me incessantly and won't help me to figure out how to remove them. You quiz all my friends and tell me all the mundane details, but you don't really want to know ME. You don't really understand ME. What is my hippy name? What is my My Little Pony Character Name? What Country should I live in? I don't know how you can say you love me when all you really know is my middle name and my fake political views and yet you don't know what Character from Star Wars I am most like!

You know, I never bring it up because I don't want to come across as nagging or unsatisfied, but I feel the coldness of your love when I see the gifts of avatar snowballs or gold crowns or funny frogs that other girls seem to get from you and yet my gift inbox seems quite empty. Why must you tease me so?

All these things I could live with. The annoying threads, the vomiting of useless info into my regular email, the incredibly fucking ridiculous way you tell me who you think I may know or who you think I should be friends with (I'm an EMPOWERED woman sir!) but I cannot (and because I am DRAMATIC I shall repeat - I CANNOT GO ON!) with your new look.

You may call me shallow, but I call myself a woman of integrity. I am more interested in connection and connectivity and community and context and substance than your silly little ad scheme propaganda design. Get over yourself darling, I will never ever ever eat at Papa Johns no matter how many times you ask me to be a fucking fan (how many times do I have to tell you I am vegan before it sets down in your thick skull?) I will never ever ever go on a Celebrity Diet of Sucking D with Pills, I will never ever ever go to a hair salon in Beverly Hills, and I don't even know who the fuck Keith Urban is so stop asking me to check out his god damn concert. IT MAKES ME HATE YOU BECAUSE I HATE YOUR TASTE IN MUSIC !!!!

Sorry dear, just had to let that last one out.

I wish you well. Please don't drunk dial me anymore.
Or drunk text.
Or drunk email.
Or drunk message.

In fact, maybe you should stop drinking. There is a good program I thought I heard about. Maybe you should check your advertise sidebar.

xoxoxoxo
me

Is that crack yr smoking vegan?

2009-03-18T22:18:00.000-07:00

Do you like it in a dish? Do you like to pretend it's fish? Do you like it engineered? Would you like it sauteed or seared?

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

World of Nahlej - Shmeat

Colbert Report Full Episodes
Political Humor

Mark Sanford
NASA Name Contest

8 brass, 7 drums, 5 accordions...

2009-03-18T00:48:00.000-07:00

Red, Black, and Blew My Mind: Kill Sonic!

Oh, and say hi to their newest member ;)

Pretty Kitty....NomNomNom

2009-03-17T16:15:00.000-07:00

Feeling too Frisky with the Spring Breeze in Your Heels?

2009-03-17T14:35:00.000-07:00

listen to the soothing seductions of Bill O'Reilly and never have sex again....

I'll Pinch Yr Tuchus!

2009-03-17T14:14:00.000-07:00

Tonight: Juanita's in Highland Park
9:00P - Free - Major Brass!
Killsonic, Buyepongo, Soul Conference, Team Scrub

Countdown to Spring...1....2.....3!!!!!!!!

2009-03-17T13:22:00.001-07:00

start a trend!

2009-03-16T20:55:00.000-07:00

mom is always right!

If I never have to hear the phrase "Don't shit where you eat" again for the rest of my life, it will indeed be a damn good life. Srsly tho. Srsly. Let me just start off by saying that 1: It's gross.

My friend told me this story about her father trying to get her to quit smoking when she was in college. "It's just disgusting dear, it's a filthy disgusting habit. You wanna know what it's like? You want to know what smoking is like? It's like shitting in your lunch. Do you want to shit inside your lunchbox?"

Gross.

On a side note - this is the same man who told us over the course of one dinner, a double round of vodka martinis and one bottle of wine, that it would be incredibly difficult for us to find a mate in our lives because we were too intelligent for boys not to just run off intimidated. Thanks dad!

The phrase is one that by definition means "don't have romantic relations with your co-workers," although I have heard it used in so many different contexts before.
Ex. - "This is where I get my dry-cleaning done every week, hence I will not ask out the hot counter lady. (I don't want to shit where I clean?)" The bartender at your neighborhood dive... The barista at the coffee shop you go to every day... Yeah, you get it.

Breaking down "romantic relations" into two main categories, this would consist of people who are a: looking for one night stand or varying degrees of casual sex and b: looking for a person to connect with on a deeper and more substantial level. (And I believe that "dating" doesn't really exist anymore among those of my generation. Those of us who, you know, live in a secular world.) So, yeah, maybe if you are just looking for someone to fuck and could care less about what happens afterwards, maybe you shouldn't sleep with that dude who you run into every day at the gym. But if you are looking for something with meaning, does it really fucking matter where you eat? Doesn't life demand of us that we eat? Isn't that what the heart searches for and finds in the most unexpected of places, or unexpectedly in the most expected of places? Maybe we should just embrace every chance we have to create love in this world, and leave the shit out of it.

clearly i am hard at work right now

2009-03-16T14:11:00.001-07:00

can you feel the spring in the air?!!!

2009-03-16T12:51:00.000-07:00

i can haz my 15 minutes plz???

2009-03-16T09:07:00.000-07:00

The short model call riot for ANTM. Someone probably broke off another girls press on nail, and someone called another girl a skank.

Nothing quite like thousands of delusional short ladies in heels all running in the streets. Are they running from their insecurities?

OMFG

2009-03-16T08:57:00.000-07:00

Vampire themed ad for o.b.

Made by an all male-creative team who apparently didn't know that women don't really want to be sold tampons by an image of a guy with one in his mouth. "I will drink up your monthly menses!" Ummm. Fail. and Gross.

you can spend your time but you can never buy it back again

2009-03-15T23:32:00.000-07:00

I haven't written any new poetry in a while. Maybe it's because I have been just been trying to raise a new, a beautiful, poetic conciousness to my days instead. Maybe it's the paradigm shift I am witnessing in myself (as objectively as I possibly can) but all my pieces previously written currently connect with me about as much as my cell structure of a year ago, 6 months ago, one week ago even does. I mean, it's all born from the same imprint, the same light, the same energy, yet...it's transformed.

I remember a show I was in in high school where a monologue of mine began with "Does one accept or create their own destiny? Endings are only relative to the fear of them." I have never forgotten those words...

This is our free will, to make every moment count. At the end of this week I turn 28, and all I know is that I have had enough wasted moments for my life already. I'm done with that. This weekend has been so incredible and lovely and happy because of the choices I have made on how to ride these waves. And to embrace my days and the people I encounter with loving thoughts. I've caught myself in the past weeks about to complain, or say something snarky, and instead of letting that out of my mouth, I am reformulating that in my head. Is this really how I want to spend my time, or, can I take my yoga practice off my mat for real? Can I approach this position, and instead of saying it's too hard, or it hurts, or I can't do it, or I'm not graceful, can I just say that I am proud of myself and my effort and I am going to fill this moment with my Joy? Can I share that Joy?

How do we spend our time, so that we would never want to buy it back again?

Make it all count. It's too overwhelmingly
precious and awesome.

FTW!

2009-03-15T00:08:00.000-07:00

Yoga. Massage. Acupuncture. Siesta. Late night run @ the Res with the gypsy queen and the pup. Wrote a song. Ginger Tea. Bedtime.

"Today Was a Good Day"

(I somehow inspired the gypsy queen to start these focus points of the day that I've been committing to. Today, mine was Love and she chose Peaceful Joy. Adam focused his yoga class on all these intense heart-opening poses! I can't articulate it - but I actually felt as though I was literally making love with myself. I just surrendered and was flying through bakasana's like never before with this ridiculously amazing laughing Buddha smileyface and my dear friend cried tears of Joy 5 times.... Yummy. Yummy. Yummy.)

Pierre

2009-03-14T17:26:00.000-07:00