ask and you shall receive...

Maybe the general aversion to -asking- comes from submerged memories of having to ask to go to the bathroom as a child, or having to ask for help with your homework, or asking for a ride someplace. Then maybe we get to some stage where the last thing we want to do is ask for anything. Asking for directions...Asking for a hug...As if the ask is inherently weak. The ask is a manifestation of dependance. As though we resist the acceptance of our mortality, by resisting the ask.

I find myself in this constant interplay of existing in a peaceful state and then alternating to, well, something less balanced. For example, going to a great yoga class, connecting with a group of people, blissed out, and then walking down the street later, a man yells and suddenly I'm like - fuck off! Pitta on fire.

I think a lot of people experience this dilemma (especially when driving hello!). And I do call it a dilemma, because you know, how are you putting peace into the world when we have the capacity for putting so much anger (i.e. FEAR) into it?

There is this idea of working to balance these modes of being - of literally, like, when going to sleep at night first asking, ask yourself truly, I ask to be a more loving, a more compassionate person. I ask to have more patience for people. I ask myself to be stronger..etc, whatever it is.

We get in the way of ourselves so often. Whether its because you sabotage yourself or your happiness, or you get stuck in your head, or you think shit like this is just some hippy new age crap. If we work out stuff despite these things, and just say, for the hell of it, i am going to wake up this morning, and ask of myself, i ask to be aware of the infinite opportunities which the universe is streaming with, wouldn't this affect our day to day life?

I have walked by this one street corner about 100 times and last week I noticed this structure there, that I had never seen before. But it had always been there...and this is just a corner. So how much is going on in general in our lives, that we are blind to, shut out from. Because we don't ask to see it.

Just like it seems that so many lovers have a problem with asking. Whether it's asking to give or asking for, it seems that many people become mute. When the brain is the largest sexual organ, what worlds of desires, fantasys, or needs are being wasted because people are stopping with just gauging what someone enjoys/doesn't with their noises/or physicalizations. Without asking, how would you ever really conceivably know, what would blow someones mind out...?

I am trying to get more intimate with asking. I think it is a manifestation of strength. Asking of oneself, for oneself, of others, to give...Like it all ties back in to this cycle of gratitude. And you know, it can't hurt. All it can do is make me a little more at peace with myself...at peace with the world...