Because Matt Hearts Segways....

My dear blogger friend just commented on my little Segway snap. I felt it was entitled to a post of its own. I'm feeling very Wolfish tonight....

Blogger Matthew said...
what benefit does it bring to reduce a population of people to a stereotype based on Costco and Segways?
sorry "lazy asses Americans" is a pet peeve of mine. it's just another meaningless "us" and "them"
PS - Segway's go 12mph, I'd like to see a toddler go 12mph. :p

Reducing a population to a stereotype does us no benefit Matt. I am no Dalai Lama...

Perhaps, what I meant, underneath my urban snark and constant degrading and annoying generalizations, starts somewhere like this....

I drove to Costco in a car fueled by gasoline that came from somewhere in the Middle East. That gasoline was shipped with more gasoline to our states, presumably to some insane loading dock, to some other elaborate facilities to end up at the corporate Chevron in Echo Park where I fueled up my car.

I drove said car into the massive parking lot only to be stuck in a waiting line of suvs and giant trucks for far too long, as the cars sputtered and idled, as people honked, as the hot sun beat against the exhaust fumes. I finally parked, and I walked across the lot to the entrance of the store.

Outside is a huge eating area, which, perhaps because it was "lunchtime" was filled with people sitting and eating. Taking in the view, I saw men and women eating giant hotdogs and burgers, kids with huge plates of meat, couples eating candy, sodas overflowing. I couldn't help but notice, that most of the people outside, were grossly overweight. From the men in wheelchairs, to the ladies whose pants don't even begin to conceal the rolls and layers of loose flesh, it was a sight that I felt to be - unnatural. This is not a description of the -fat fear frenzy- that ironically plagues our country, but of an innate organic reaction I had as a human being responding to the vision of the living dead. There was no healthy skin, kids laughing and giggling, hair shining. It was literally a swarming ground of malnutrition within the excess.

I walked in and it took a while for my vision to adjust from the suns rays to the white booming flood lights which are splayed across the warehouse ceilings. I found a cart, a giant one, as that is all there is there, with which to go find the items I was sent there for. I couldn't find signs anywhere, I had no idea where to go, and so I began wandering through the aisles. The aisles are filled, booming, overflooding with what is largely processed plastic garbage. From the enormous bags of frozen factory chicken breasts (given the genetic breakdown for these, we'd most likely see that these "chickens" are largely just hormones, chemicals and corn) to the stacks and stacks of "cheap" t-shirts that were shipped overseas from a country whose name I cannot pronounce, that were made by young girls for pennies, from a company that outsources to outsourcers to the even more outsourced (I may be inventing new words here...) to the back aisle where lies the paper products, and in a flash - from one moment eying the 45 rolls per package of toilet paper- I had this image. The image of all that paper, every day that we go through. The piles and piles lying underneath our broken cities sewer systems. The wastes and the plastics and the hormones all flooding into our oceans.

I saw the weight of it all (no pun intended. maybe.) and it killed me. And I thought of how I play into it. The fact that I rode my car here. The fact that I too, use toilet paper. And I thought of the miles of frozen dinners in freezers that this facility contained, and I declared -" Yes! Yes Matt. We ARE a nation of fucking lazy asses. Standing around, shopping into further debt, oblivious to our own demise - our own ignorance. What good is it, to anyone, to ignore the reality of that which is Costco, of that, which is the Seqway. We are spending our lives in search of more garbage to consume as if we didn't get that shit shoveled at us from every politician, from every CEO. Is any of this necessary? No. Is any of it healthy or conducive to a life of happiness? No. (I will base this on the general premise that happiness is based on two things: 1. Doing work which you love to do. 2. Developing and deepening intimate relationships with family, friends, community, etc...) We need Costco about as much as you need a Segway. Which is, basically, you don't.

Oh, and just to add on here. Just because I am a little snark (damn this city damn it all!) I can merely say this. Perhaps if we stopped feeding our toddlers McDonalds every night, they wouldn't be so doped out on chemicals we used in WWII and they would be going faster than 12mph. That, however, would be an entirely new problem for us in the states. One that would be far more interesting and far more enjoyable, than the infinite number of ones we currently face.

PS. Just to be clear, its not just Costcos I despise. But I will save you from reading my rant on the industrial "organic" industry and how Whole Foods can suck it for another evening...

PPS. It's just because I CARE.