Monday, November 24, 2008

Sunday, November 23, 2008

The Enabler: Turning a Yeltsin into a Pinochet...

Lawrence Summers scares the shit out of me.

Well, let me clarify. The fact that Obama chose to put him on the Economic Advisory board scares the shit out of me. While any semblance of "leftist" media will criticize the choice as being poor in light of his views of women as having lesser innate abilities than men, they will be missing the point. While leftist activists are busy divvying up themselves into the appropriate environmentalist, feminist, or affirmative action boxes from which to criticize Summer's from, he will be busy with his slight of hand free market rah-rah regressive tricks that are nothing short of a grand FAILURE. His past actions have been directly responsible for creating repressive and fascist regimes (of both an economic nature and political) abroad, and here we are sending emails around about how he thinks the ladies are stupid.

Obama - I know you are from Chicago. We all do. Yeah, we get it already. It's one thing to hire your boys, and it's an entirely other thing to hire the Chicago Boys from Milton Friedman's lineage. These things always lead to two places: torture, or complete economic shock. Oh- but a few people always manage to get rich from it. Bastard people.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

"The theories of Milton Freidman gave him the Nobel Prize; they gave Chile General Pinochet."

Undeterred, Pinochet's economic team went into more experimental territory, introducing Freidman's most vanguard policies; the public school system was replaced by vouchers and charter schools, health care became pay-as-you-go, and kindergartens and cemeteries were privatized. Most radical of all, they privatized Chile's social security system. Jose Pinera, who brought in the program, said he got the idea from reading Capitalism and Freedom. George W. Bush's administration is usually credited with pioneering "the ownership society," but in fact it was Pinochet's government, thirty years earlier, that first introduced "a nation of owners." - The Shock Doctrine - Naomi Klein

Thursday, November 20, 2008

fearless

Fears - such as fear of snakes, heights, and closed spaces - are not biologically specific to gender, but some do tend to be more prevalent among women that men, including anuptaphobia; fear of staying single; arrhenphobia; fear of men; atelophobia; fear of imperfection; atychiphobia; fear of failure; cacophobia; fear of ugliness; eremophobia; fear of lonliness; gerascophobia; fear of growing old; glossophobia; fear of public speaking; katagelophobia; fear of ridicule; monophobia; fear of being alone; rhytiphobia; fear of getting wrinkles.

- On Becoming Fearless - Arianna Huffington

I haven't posted in a bit, and I haven't posted anything too personal in quite some time... Some emails I have received, some conversations, and some other shit that has occurred in my personal life had left me with such a desire to self-censure at this point, that I was thinking "why bother?" Might as well start a new blog and make it completely anonymous.

But there is some part of me that just wants to scream out " Fuck that shit." What am I living in fear of? Sharing? Why do that when there are clearly so many other really fabulous choices for women to be living with a fear of. I myself have never experienced rhytiphobia, but doesn't it just sound fascinating? I wonder if any of the men I know have that...

I am not scared of snakes, in fact I wore one once for Halloween. I was Medusa. It was pretty hot. I did scare most of the women I came into contact with that evening however.

I overcame any fear of heights I had this summer, when I went cliff-jumping and zip-lining and learned to just. let. go.

I am not specifically scared of closed spaces. When I was a kid I used to put on my tap shoes and go hide in my closet and dance in the small dark space on top of a wooden box I had in there. But then again, I wouldn't wish to find myself trapped in a coffin or in an elevator for example.

I do have a number of fears that I am trying to confront and dance with. I don't want to be fighting myself, creating doubts and whatnot in my attempts to sabotage my own happiness and self-realization.

I find it very easy to love many people, to see them for who they are and to not just look at that which could easily be described as ones "imperfections." Yet, I struggle to apply this to myself. I struggle to be easy on myself. It's so easy to get wrapped up in the negative world of - I am not enoughs...- When the simple truth of the matter, is that I am. That we all are. When we talk poorly about ourselves, about others, what does that do other than frame our reality of our existence? I don't want to live in fear. I want to live from happiness and joy.

Sometimes I get so sad and lonely and I feel like I have no one to talk to about this with. I feel like I am supposed to always be "strong"...

Isn't it just as important to share these things though? Surely I am not alone on this, and isn't sharing the one thing that connects us. That connects us all?

I don't want to live in fear. I want to ask for the job I deserve to get. I want to get the proper compensation for the work I do. I want to be loved and to love in return in a degree which is fitting for each of my relationships. I want to not be scared to tell someone how I feel. I want to have a family of my own, and not be terrified that it won't happen for me because somehow I don't deserve that. I don't want my fears to come in the way of me realizing my full potential. I don't want to see my fears turn into anger, or judgement, or negativity.

I want to live fearlessly.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Awesomeness

Tonight I saw Ghastly City Sleep at Curio and they are fucking great! Tomorrow night they are playing at Mountain Bar so grab a friend and go check it.



Bromance

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Om Namah Shivaaya

This morning at the top of my yoga class while we are all in downward dog.

My yoga teacher:

"So, I am working on a proposition for the next election. It's going to be called Prop M, for Moron. And it's going to propose that we take away the right to vote from all the right-wing religious fanatics, so if they want, they can just move back to Utah and fuck up their own state and leave ours to evolve.

It's just so completely beyond offensive to take away a persons right..."

Here's to Prop M kiddos. Spread the Love.

Si Se Puede

"If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our Founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer."
-President-Elect Barack Obama, Nov. 4, 2008

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Monday, November 3, 2008

procrast-in-nation

I've been in Vegas for the past week. I had been feeling so incredibly anti-social and mildly depressed (to say the least) for the past couple of weeks in Los Angeles, that I had to go home and get my bearings. Plus, I wanted to volunteer for the Obama campaign in my home swing state. It's been great here; really friendly people and hardly any McCain signs in the city. Like his supporters have taken underground or something...

I am slowly packing up - Procrastinating between my computer and the television (it's just that I don't have one myself!) I remember the first time I left home when I moved to New Mexico. I was so scared to leave...Ha! But then I never came back.

My mother has an incredible sense of humor. The first year that I had left the nest, she ended up getting a fucking air hockey table, ping pong table, pool table, some old video arcade games, a basketball shooting hoops things, crazy dart games, and basically a bunch of shit I really would have loved if she had gotten those things when I actually lived at home. All those hours I spent stoned in high school; I would have made that air hockey table worship me...

The family cats have been scaring the shit out of my dog all week. She's such a pussy. They just look in her general direction and she runs away. She follows me like 5 inches away from my feet everywhere in this house. So I can protect her from the mean mean kitties...

I am looking forward to the drive tonight. The long silences. The stars of the desert. The time to reflect. To move forward. The vast.

I often wonder if I am on the right path, the path with heart. Every few months I think I should go to law school, and then I'm like, nah- that's silly. I just wanna make art. But...there is still this void.

I am not sure what it is.

A mentor I had when I first moved to LA asked me what I kept moving for. What was I running from?

Was I running from, or had I been running everywhere to?

I can't seem to focus on anything but the election. I have made such an emotional investment in this...As have many.

When the announcement is made, it is just a new beginning. Not the end. I want to find ways that utilize my strengths to continue to do things to make small changes in my immediate world. Make the world a better place.

I met this guy last night; an architect who lives in LA. He was tall and gorgeous and very funny. We talked and flirted all night and then a mutual friend told me he had a very serious girlfriend. What?

Well...That's nothing new. I always meet these seemingly awesome guys to find out after they've been flirting all over me, that they have a girlfriend. Is this some new trend, or do I seem like the type that would hook up with a guy anyways? Because I wouldn't. And it makes me lose respect for them too - I wouldn't want a boyfriend who was out being coy with other girls...