procrast-in-nation

I've been in Vegas for the past week. I had been feeling so incredibly anti-social and mildly depressed (to say the least) for the past couple of weeks in Los Angeles, that I had to go home and get my bearings. Plus, I wanted to volunteer for the Obama campaign in my home swing state. It's been great here; really friendly people and hardly any McCain signs in the city. Like his supporters have taken underground or something...

I am slowly packing up - Procrastinating between my computer and the television (it's just that I don't have one myself!) I remember the first time I left home when I moved to New Mexico. I was so scared to leave...Ha! But then I never came back.

My mother has an incredible sense of humor. The first year that I had left the nest, she ended up getting a fucking air hockey table, ping pong table, pool table, some old video arcade games, a basketball shooting hoops things, crazy dart games, and basically a bunch of shit I really would have loved if she had gotten those things when I actually lived at home. All those hours I spent stoned in high school; I would have made that air hockey table worship me...

The family cats have been scaring the shit out of my dog all week. She's such a pussy. They just look in her general direction and she runs away. She follows me like 5 inches away from my feet everywhere in this house. So I can protect her from the mean mean kitties...

I am looking forward to the drive tonight. The long silences. The stars of the desert. The time to reflect. To move forward. The vast.

I often wonder if I am on the right path, the path with heart. Every few months I think I should go to law school, and then I'm like, nah- that's silly. I just wanna make art. But...there is still this void.

I am not sure what it is.

A mentor I had when I first moved to LA asked me what I kept moving for. What was I running from?

Was I running from, or had I been running everywhere to?

I can't seem to focus on anything but the election. I have made such an emotional investment in this...As have many.

When the announcement is made, it is just a new beginning. Not the end. I want to find ways that utilize my strengths to continue to do things to make small changes in my immediate world. Make the world a better place.

I met this guy last night; an architect who lives in LA. He was tall and gorgeous and very funny. We talked and flirted all night and then a mutual friend told me he had a very serious girlfriend. What?

Well...That's nothing new. I always meet these seemingly awesome guys to find out after they've been flirting all over me, that they have a girlfriend. Is this some new trend, or do I seem like the type that would hook up with a guy anyways? Because I wouldn't. And it makes me lose respect for them too - I wouldn't want a boyfriend who was out being coy with other girls...