process

at times it comes barreling along
with the high speeds of a flying machine
with the pressure
of a diver in a wind tunnel
sometimes it pummels ahead like a shiny new tractor in an open field.
or, it's slow / steady / stubborn
like a beaten downtrodden mule.

sometimes you have to speak to it in order to even see it's there.
incite it!
argue with it!
inflate it!
grapple with it!
struggle with it!
engage with it!

the creative process is
one that hinges on the realm of the paranormal
when you are at a loss
for articulation
for description
of what being a vessel / a voice / a conduit - can feel like
an indescribable existence
those rare moments when you catch a glimpse
when you come upon a portal
and can share it
with others
a sighting of the DIVINE.
some greater existence...

is it any wonder
with such incredible weight
on the backs
from the pens
through the mouths
off the dance of the artist -
why so many feel resigned to a life
inexorably connected
to some bullshit
Renaissance
belief
that in order to create
the artist must suffer.
all the time.
that the personal life
must be overflowing with angst and anxiety
for work to ever dare to touch brilliance.
to even attempt to achieve
the outline of genius?

can we just release our modern egos - warped and swollen
our twisted concept of the individual
and bring back
the deamons and the genius
of the greeks and the romans.

lets give our fragile
psyches
a fucking break

a break they deserve after about 500 contemporary years
of losing friends and those whose work has inspired us
to
alcoholic tendencies
suicidal tendencies
drug dependency tendencies
relentless emotional instabilities

and instead
share our work with the genius who lives in the walls
and have every act every moment every verse and every melody
be this divine mutual effort
built from a place
of joy
the joy of
enough distance
enough distance to shatter cheap oscars
enough distance
to not feel the necessity of drinking
smoking - shooting up
just to share
what the creative muse
is blowing through you.
because you have this partner for life
who is co-creator for all that is great you have done,
and co-creator for every failure and public bombing as well.
that sounds like some joy to me
or at the very least
a much better place to be creating from
where the artist
celebrates life
through the process
and doesn't allow for the process
to merely be an entry way
to an early and tragic death...