So, recently I became awakened to the absolute fabulousity of the Schappel Twins. Chek it - Schappel Twins.

Lori and Reba (George) are craniopagus conjoined twins.

Tracie's blog post is hilarious.

It's funny how much of it I can relate to.

sex and the shitty

Yeah! It's that day in America that all the women, gay men, and my ex have been waiting for!!!

Here's my favorite clip bringing to life the beauty of sex and the city. Now go drink some flirtinis...you are going to need them!

More videos from the "Flex and the City" channel at Heavy.com

----------Spoiler Alert------------

Word in that this is the last line of the movie - "And there they were, four friends who had met as girls and were now women ready to enter the next phase of their lives, dressed head to toe in love. And that's one label that never goes out of style."

Mwhahahahahahahahahahaha!

Since when were 30 something women ever "girls?" And yah, that's really evolved. Love = Branding. Barf.

what really happened on girls trip to wine country...

the costa rica and the such as

I am finally back in LA! I went straight on a trip to Paso Robles with my bitches right when I got back from Costa Rica and am just now getting a moment to unwind. I have to clear out a bunch of old stuff from my computer which I will get to tonight so I can upload all my gorgeous pics from the trip.

So, pics and long stories to follow this short little cap of my time...

Costa Rica was fucking beautiful, unbelievable and amazing. I would totally move there! The weather is a light humidity which makes your skin feel like its detoxing and glowing. The rains are soft and light and refreshing and make you feel blessed that you are alive.

We went hiking, swimming in natural lakes and pools, white-water rafting, zip-lining through the rainforest, hiking through the rainforest, hanging bridge tour through the rain forest, boating, horse-back riding, and more hiking. We talked about spirituality, intimacy, and all sorts of shit. I made some beautiful connections with amazing new friends. We saw monkeys, birds, bats, alligators, sloths, butterflies, lizards, and all sorts of bugs. I ate the most incredible gaurana and fresh pineapple. We sang, we drank, we shared stories and we laughed. I taught yoga classes with my new vbf (vegan best friend!) and gave foot massages and lavender head rubs to everyone who came. I made many new discoveries about myself and my personal path. Oh, and I also had a really hot makeout session with an awesome man which may have or have not led to a makeout session in the resort lobby shower which may or may not have flooded said bathroom. All in all, it was an incredible experience and went by to swiftly for me. I will definitely return to Costa Rica in the future!

Pura Veda -

Oh Shit!

There are going to be one hell of a lot of fabulous fucking weddings this summer...

This week in bitchin....

I am going to Costa Rica so I will not be blogging until I return. I will come back with many presents, stories, and pics however. So, here's to hold you off until then...

Another one bites the dust and the fat girl takes the cake. Not to stop any conspiracies though...Even if the fashion industry doesn't accept her curves, at least her lovers probably will!

Oh in these times...If only youtube was around when I was in high school....

At least we have some eye candy to help us heal. Oh, yes we can!

And while I can do this, I can still 100% agree with what I won't miss.

The sex is coming, babawawa is bangin' and dumb bitches still find complete tools to marry them.

xoxo
-holly

Dear Mom,

This mothers day, I am not going to send you flowers. I know that flowers smell beautiful, lighten our hearts, and add color to our rooms. But flowers cut from the earth, well, the beauty they give us is really their own death. So, I don't want to destroy that life in order to express the love I have for you. For you gave me life and you taught me how to live. That beauty lasts forever and not just for a week. That love will never wilt and dry up. So, sorry mom, no flowers from me this time.

This mothers day, I am not going to buy you a fancy bracelet, or shiny earrings. Jewelry makes us feel fancy and special and gorgeous. But earrings are lost over sink drains. Bracelets snap and fall apart. And chains of necklaces grow weak and weary. A million gold rings, diamonds and pearls don't even come close to how special you are. They can never add up to the roles you have played, the people you have touched, and the hardships you have endured. All the jewels in the world can't touch you. For you are the root of our family tree. And a silver chain is never going to really express my gratitude and acknowledgment of your role, or how hard you have worked for us all. No. So, sorry mom, but I just can't give you any jewelry this year.

This mothers day, I am not going to run over to Hallmark and buy a card and send it your way. Hallmark can't tell you, "Mom, I totally hated all the practical jokes you played on me when I was a kid. But now I am so grateful because you taught me how to laugh at myself. God knows how important that has been in my life. You remind me to play in life. Thank you for showing me how to laugh that way." Hallmark doesn't have a card that says, "Mom, the day I realized that I have never once heard you gossip about anyone was an inspiration. In a culture and context where most people live in that frame of existence, you have proved with your life, that it is wrong. Your example shows what self confidence really is, and that 'talking shit' about people, is really just about someone's own insecurities and fear. Thank you for that lesson." Hallmark makes cards that are mainstream and conventional. But you, my mom, are nothing but. So, I am sorry, but don't be expecting a hallmark card coming in your mailbox this week.

This mothers day, I can't be there with you to take you out for a massage and a day at the spa. Although I am certain you could really use a spa week. But I can tell you this. We all keep on growing and getting older. And as you journey on with time, I will be there for you. To come to you when health gets bad. To take care of you when you need it the most. I'll be there. So I can't take you to get your feet rubbed this week, but I can tell you to not worry about the future. Be engaged in the present. You taught me that too...So, sorry mom, but maybe dad can send you off to the spa this time.

This mothers day, I couldn't figure out what to give you. If I was rich I could fly you to Los Angeles and take you to all the nice spots in the city. If I was famous I could invite you to walk with me down the red carpet where I could show you off to the world. But I am neither rich nor famous.

Because you showed me that being true to myself is success. You encouraged me in my path because I take risks in this world of complacent fear of change. I know that when I feel like you are giving me a hard time, it's because you know I can do better. Because I am better. You taught me what true friendships and relationships are all about. You taught me to be open to the full possibilities of myself. You have been a trailblazer as a feminist breaking many glass ceilings. You have been an inspiration in all of your accomplishments. You have been the only mother and wife you knew how to be. But you are so much more than what you have done. You are so loved.

You have shown me how to be a strong woman. You gave me my voice.

So, mom, this mothers day, all I could come up with, was this. You gave me my voice, and here it is.

I thank you. I love you. You are always in my heart. You are the best goddamned mom in the world.

Happy mothers day...

-me

bouncy bouncy

Here she is - Norma Stitz - the woman with the world's largest natural breasts.

This reminds me that today is the 4th annual bouncing castle day bbq in Griffith Park. Go bounce. 1-6

in the silence

Sometimes in life you have to be forced with an absence in order to discover the reason it was created.

Some time ago a friend left my life and I couldn't figure out why. I thought about it, questioned it, felt hurt, angry, sad, and then I just ignored it. I didn't process it, because, well I guess I assumed that you can't process that without the other person. Which, you know, isn't true, but that's where I was.

I ignored this, "moved on" and continued on my path with life's little distractions like boyfriends, projects, and travel. This person as of late has re-stirred in my mind, and suddenly all this past shit came flying around. "Why?" I would ask myself. "What in the hell did I do wrong?"

Absence, space, silence delivers clarity.

Like most people, I have had my share of bad times and dark places in my life. I have had bouts of drinking leading to depression and blacking out. When I injured my back I was on these crazy steroid pain pills that aggravated and flooded my body with toxins which of course came out of my mouth. I have had anger (fear) leading into me saying things to people that just aren't honest to me. It's like when I was in those dark places I was unable to love or to just say I love you, or you mean a lot to me. And I guess I was saying shit that is mean and untrue to me. I can't tell you what these things are because I have no memory of ever even saying them. Perhaps one might be "you are a fucking piece of shit." And that is not true either. But it goes deeper than words because it was just exposing my state of being.

This leads me to thinking again "Why?" Why in the fuck was I acting out like this? To people I supposedly care about. So I think about all these instances, people and moments, and I go I little further and I start to realize what dark path I have been on for such a long time. Stages of depression, abuse of many kinds, disorders...Its all stemming from something but what is it?

I think of all the different people I have treated in certain ways at certain stages in my life, and it was like this floodgate of shit opening up. Depression and abuse in high-school, cheating repeatedly on my boyfriend of 4 years, why was I pushing everyone away, living in this world of fear?

Where did this fear come from?

I realize that just writing an angry poem when I was 20 doesn't mean that I have processed what happened to me when I was 16. When this started. When I was attacked, when I was silenced, when I was violated.

I have never processed the truth that my soul was broken.

So I have done drugs, binge drinking, careless sex. I have hurt, been angry and bitter, and pushed away. I have attacked outwards to the closest people to me, just to force them to no longer be close. I created a prison for myself.

I think about the "power" I have exploited in past relationships and the coldness I have embodied. As if I was really this fierce empowered woman. It was all this facade covering that which I could not, would not really confront. And deal with. And accept. And transform.

I have been living years in the state of fear not even fucking knowing I was there.

And I discover this, because someone close to my heart shut the door without a single word of goodbye.

And that had to happen. I understand.

This journey I am on has had many obstacles on its path that I have been working hard to clear out. Through yoga, meditation, and paying a brilliant women whose background is with women who have been victims of sexual violence to listen to me talk every week and help point out tools I have to realize my full potential, I feel like I am now in this new state of, joy I guess.

The path with heart can take a while for many of us to discover.

I may have lost a friend, but at least I can finally see it.

Just don't write about me, okay....

There is something truly refreshing in obtaining objective distance. There have been a number of times in my life where I was really taken in by the moment or by the experiences, and not that you shouldn't live in the moment, but there is something to be said about the choices we make for different times and experiences in our lives. When you are in a relationship, sometimes you could be living in a haze. People all the time choose to be with certain people because, they make them feel safe, or they feel respected and listened to, or, maybe just the sex is really hot.

This is a tricky one, because sometimes, when you are having ah-mazing sex for an extended period of time with someone, you can get a little clouded over in the sex-haze. Maybe the sex is so great, that you even start to think you love that person. Maybe you say it, and then try to follow through with it, but you are led into a brick wall. You should have just been lovers. But, when it's all over and done at least you have had all that great sex over said period of time.

Th

a

Its so interesting this proliferation of artists who truly believe that their identity and their talent are intrinsically intwined with suffering, pain, and general fuckedupness. That one can only create when in pain. That without that pain, what does one do? Therapy would destroy it. Sobriety would give you writers block.

Its like these things are all tied

to my california people!

On June 3, Vote No on Prop 98

No on Prop. 98 - The Landlords' Scheme

Prop. 98 is an Attack on Renters
Prop. 98 Eliminates Renter Protections and Rent Control

Wealthy apartment and mobile home park owners are spending millions on a deceptive campaign to pass Prop. 98 for their own financial gain. These landlords want voters to believe that Prop. 98 - dubbed the Hidden Agendas Scheme - is about eminent domain. But their hidden agenda is to ELIMINATE RENT CONTROL so they can make hundreds of millions of dollars by RAISING RENTS on seniors and working families.
This prop also will DESTROY FAIR RETURN OF DEPOSITS!

Prop. 98 attacks renters by eliminating renter protections and rent control.

Prop. 98 guts important environmental protections like laws we need to combat global warming, and protect our land, air, water and coasts.

Prop. 98 jeopardizes the quality of our drinking water and our ability to secure new water sources to protect our environment and fuel our economy.

Prop. 98 will result in frivolous lawsuits, higher taxpayer costs, and hurt our economy.

DONT LET THE RICH BASTARDS SNEAK THIS ONE BY US.
PLEASE - GO VOTE JUNE 3RD!!!!



Get more info here!

just for the record...

All men who preface statements with " as a liberal and progressive man..." are complete douchebags once they add the "but" in.

Just saying.

Here's to yo mama!

Happy Early Mothers Day Love!

the moth

Last night I went with some fine ass folks to check out The Moth for my first time. They have a different theme every month, and when I arrived I discovered the theme was Weddings, which may help to explain the dominance of women in the bar .

It was a pretty good show with a nice array of different types of story-tellers. And my wine was excellent. But what I want to share about is the emcee of the evening.

I cannot remember his name, but he was an attractive man in his late 30's/early 40's, who opened the show with some funny witty little quips. Then he led that into a really interesting trail.

He continuously spoke of hating weddings, being terrified of weddings, and of never going to get married himself. In fact, the reason he stated for never getting married was that he hates women who don't just give you a towel and who need to explain how their weird ass showers work. I am still trying to figure out what in the hell that has to do with anything.

But I don't need to spend anytime trying to figure him out because he ended with a story, which I suppose he thought was funny. He said that at his age, you take all you can get, so whenever someone mentions a blind date, he has no reservations on this and orders them to immediately send said lady his way. Well, on one particular blind date, he arranged for this woman to meet him at a restaurant. He had arranged ahead of time, flowers, special music, and a box with a ring in it. Halfway through the meal, he signals a waiter and the musicians to come over, he gets down on one knee and he proposes. Everyone in the restaurant is staring at them, waiting themselves to hear her reply. She responds with "But..I don't know you!" and he starts laughing and decides to "let her in on the joke". She laughed, somewhat awkwardly I would imagine, and they continued their meal. She later tells him that she is looking to get married and have babies, hopefully sooner than later. Upon hearing this, he splits and never talks to this woman again.

I'm sorry, but excuse me here. He thinks its funny to fake propose on a first date? And then runs away because a woman says that she wants to get married one day?

This guy is crazy land, and its only unfortunate that he is still single and that he is out here dirtying the already kinda pungent waters of singlesville....

sweating genuis

best damn thing i read all day

"Only go out for guys that you think are hot. Most women tend to chase after guys that they think are physically unattractive under them is guided assumption that said guy will be so grateful to have scored a Hot Chick that he will be true forever. THIS NEVER HAPPENS. Ugly guys always get laid more, and they are often the biggest assholes about it because they are so insecure that girls keep hooking up with them out of pity. This is a time when our human evolution truly runs counter to our own efficient natural instincts. Ladies, right this wronged system and only chase after guys that you think are LEGIT cute so you don't have to lie to your friends and be like "But he has a really great personality," when what you mean is "It's weird how he makes me feel so terrible about myself when he's the ugly one."

if he looks like a prick and he walks like a prick, well, chances are you've had sex with him

because that shit is true

spellbound

cascadia rising

Love your neighbor...Love your Earth

i approved this message

mmmm...summertime!

Summertime in LA makes me feel all sexy like butter melting onto warm toast...

This is going to be one hawt summer...

the empire strikes barack

And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva...

thinspiration

In my elementary school we had a Holocaust Remembrance month every year. (Btw, In the Jewish tradition, we are commanded to remember (zachor) and not to forget (lo tishkach). This week we commemorate Yom HaShoah, the Day of Holocaust Remembrance.) So, maybe it is because I was flooded with more images of the living dead than any young child should ever have to see, that when I see these videos the pro-ana sect of women make, it makes me see just death on sticks. With expensive clothes thrown on top.

These women have chosen this existence. They are not in concentration camps.

1. When did anorexia become glamorized?
2. Why do these ladies have such bad taste in music?



Watch, but be warned. I haven't eaten in 10 days and now I suddenly have my appetite back...

its all fun and games