Three things I am thankful for...
1. That I am not married.
2. That I do not own a television.
3. Sarah Haskins...
Did you happen to see her Target Women: Yogurt?
Funny Shit.
For those of you who saw SEXXX!!!, perhaps you may have noticed this: After being jilted at the alter by Mr. man/CHILD Carrie goes on her honeymoon to Mexico with the girls. She starves and sleeps the days away until Samantha nourishes her back to life with....YOGURT!!!
Not only is it good for women's bodies, but it can apparently heal you from a broken heart when the man you have been with for the past ten years decides he can't meet you at the end of the aisle because he didn't know if the two of you would still be the same two!!!!
Dude, I totally get that though. Sometimes when I give a lover a blow job, I am just terrified of how clingy he is gonna get afterwards. Throw in a shoddy marriage proposal, fuck, I would start running too...Or, I would tell my driver to turn the car around...and then around again...By then though, I would probably be confused what with all that turning and the fact that I had been drinking from a flask in my garter belt the whole time!
It's a good thing there is fresh, creamy, non-fat yogurt in the world. It's easier to vomit if you have to shed a few tons to fit into your wedding dress. Oh! And it has also been used topically for yeast infections for decades. Yeah, women dip tampons into their yoplait and stick it inside of them.
Now that is the mainstream commercial I am just waiting to see!
That is, you know, If I had a television...
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