Dating Is Fun

you don't know me at all

I'm Fat and Nobody Likes Me

This kid may be fat, but come high school, he's gonna be getting so much ass it won't even matter.

KILLSONIC CD RELEASE PARTY - 6-27 - 09

The highly anticipated release of the second KILLSONIC record takes place June 27, 2009 in the City of Angels.

We are releasing this CD ourselves. We do not have A&R staff. We do not have Sony. We do not have BMG. We have our music and we have you.

$5 = admission to the show
$10 = admission + a copy of the new CD
$15 = admission + CD + 2 drink tickets

ALL AGES

There will be more surprise live acts TBA - Live performances by the MALABOMBA! Welcome Band and DJs Cat Hair, The Duchess, and Jason Savvy - Delicious international food will be served - FULL BAR

Check http://www.killsonic.org for updates

t.g.i.f.

gonna leave town this weekend.

1 parking ticket.
1 injured disc in my back.
6 days of steroids.
0 hours of work from my work next week.
30 muscle relaxants.
1 eviction notice.

Weekend Forecast:
Most likely going to make out with a hot guy about 6 years younger than me tonight.
Definitely going to see Goran Bregovic Wedding & Funeral Orchestra @ UCLA Saturday night.
Definitely driving to Vegas Sunday for time w/ the family and a few days to make some cash out there (not that kind of work...)

you wanna dance? I'll fucking dance with you bitch!

My shady landlord has a history of withholding rent checks of tenants, to suddenly slam them with cashing them way into the future, causing their accounts to fly South, and then handing them a fucking eviction notice. Most people don't like to fight this shit, but me, I can't afford not to, and someone needs to stand up for their fucking renters rights around here.

They put a notice on my door stating my June rent didn't go through. My June rent actually did go through, but my May check bounced. (Cashed a week ago...) This is my response to buy me some time as I can't come up with May's rent in two days, and also, it's going to be July rent time in a hot second. Also, I have people from the councilman's office working with me on this. We shall see what happens....

This letter for LT Properties LLC, Dated this June 20, 2009, in regards to “3-Day Notice to Pay Rent or Move Out.”
The paper you sent me states that I owe $***.** for the month of June (June 1, 2009 to June 30th, 2009.) Attached is bank print out of Check #111 which an agent of LT Properties LLC deposited on 6/8/09 for $***.** (not $***.**.) This check went through immediately upon deposit, so please check your records which will inform you that, in fact, the rent for June 2009, was paid on time.

For all future months, I am going to need to know the hours that the Building Manager will actually be on premises, as I am going to require a receipt monthly upon the payment of my rent. As the rentbox is unable to perform this function, I request being sent the office hours of Manager, or the Office Location and Hours of LT Properties LLC so that I may be given a receipt for all rent monies.

Furthermore, Please be aware for all future correspondence you leave on Apt #***’s door, the date must be correct. This note was put on my door after midnight, making it officially the 17th of June when I received this notification and not the 16th as it states on the scrap fax paper this was printed on. For all future notifications, please be aware that if agent of LT Properties LLC is posting after the close of the business day (5pm) then date on form must show the following date.

My building needs to go back into REAP. No one from any of the Renters/Housing/Tenant Organizations in LA have been able to effectively help us in any way since this new man bought the building. Numerous people are speaking to our contacts at the Councilman's office - and this was basically what I went over with them today

Thanks so much for taking the time to speak with me today.

So, here's my current deal. The landlord withheld my May Rent and deposited it about a week ago at the same time as deposting my June check. I had never noticed that the May check wasn't deposited in May, and this sent my account (which had enough money for 1 not 2 rents at the time) spiraling into the negative along with about $200 in overdraft charges from the bank.

I received a 3 day to pay or move out notice on my door around 1am on the 17th (although the paper states it was the 16th.)

I have seen 6 people that I actually know get evicted in this way - this malicious holding of checks and strategic cashing of later on in order to get people to default on rent. (Most of us here kind of live week by week.) I have lived here for 3 years and have always paid my rent on time every single month. I have been personally cornered and attacked by landlord (***** ******) before when he first took over the building and he was freaking out about all the tenants filing complaints with him to the Housing Department.

The building is filled with trash, cockroaches, and no one responds to maintenance requests. The manager has a different job, is never on site. and doesn't respond to most tenants requests. She is a friend of the owner, and has no experience in Property Management.

No one from the Tenants Unions to the Housing Department has taken any appropriate action against owner. Tenant ******* ****** recently had the Lead Inspector in because it had been about a year she was trying to get owner to address the fact that her bathroom ceiling was wet and caving in. The inspector came in, laughed at her, and then stated that he could only do something about it if he actually saw water dripping. She replied that it takes weeks to even get an inspector over, how could one actually get a person on site when it was dripping (usually when upstairs neighbors take a shower.) He gave her what he said was a direct line number to him. The next day, when ceiling was leaking, she called it - he had given her a fake number. This is what we are dealing with on a daily basis here.

I am an incredibly active young person involved in many aspects of the Silver Lake/Echo Park Community. While I work every day to bridge community, to make my neighborhood an even better place to live, while I give back and volunteer in many different mediums, it kills me that this man is being allowed to act illegally on a daily basis exploiting the tenants and any concept of our rights.

- In addition - is there a legal cap date on when a landlord can cash past checks?

-In addition - The cell phone towers were put up illegally in that the tenants of the building's mail informing us that there would be a public meeting about them, was sent to a different address of landlord, rendering us uninformed. He pulls approx 3 grand a month on them, while our health and rights rot away.

-In addition, all cease work signs from gov. departments (he does construction with no permits) as well as all other signs are taken down from his people the moment they get put up. I do not believe this is legal.

-In addition, The Building Manager has another job and is never on-site. In my understanding, that for a building with 36 units, that an on-site manager is required by law.

My slumlord really should make his FaceBook page Private...

RocknRoll Community Garden - Upcoming Hawtness

July 12 - Live Music by David Shane Smith - Echo Park - Speakers including Pedra Furmall & FNB
July 19 - Live Music by Motel (Blake Hammon) @ Milagro Highland Community Garden - Lectures by Mary Tokita (LA CGC) & Nichole Gatto
July 26 - Live Music by The Straights - Kombucha Workshop led by Brenda Verenice @ Echo Park Location
Aug 2 - Live Music by Odious Ari & The Syphilitic Syncopaths Overwrought - Talk by Alex Alferov @ Fountain Community Garden - Art & Gardening Demo
Aug 9 - Live Music by Sasha Gransjean @ Barnsdall Art Park - Talk by Jack Neff of South Central Farms and Chi Quong Breathing Technique Class "Relaxation & Mind Intent: The Primary Tool of All Life Forms"
Aug 16- Live Music by Morgan De Rouen - Italian Dinner Garden Potluck w/ Adam Schell - Author of Tomato Rhapsody (Limited #'s - Email to RSVP!!!)
Aug 23 - Join Erik Knutzen & Kelly Coyne's (Urban Homestead) @ Eagle Rock Community Garden for - Workshop: Make a Self-Irrigating Planter
Aug 30 - Live Music by The Cigarette Bums @ Watts Community Garden - Panel Discussion of South Central Farms, politics & Urban Agriculture followed by a tour of their extensive gardens.

Rob Brezsny - FTW! - Pisces Love

I feel an expansive, permissive mood coming on -- in the cosmos, that is, not me. To be honest, I'm in a more conservative mood than the cosmos. But the planetary powers-that-be have decided to float you poetic licenses, blank checks, special dispensations, and wild cards. I just hope this free stuff won't make you forget about the finely-crafted containers and boundaries you've been working on lately. Maybe I'd feel better if you promised me to keep on doing the careful, conscientious things that seem to have earned you all the good fortune that's on its way.

batshit

I think "MeMe" is living out an obsessive fear of the fat of her parents. I also imagine, that she's probably not so much fun in bed. Oh- and I am 100% certain that she does have an eating disorder....Oh, and yeah, because I am so obnoxiously opinionated, I will also put out there that changing food culture and fighting industry has absolutely nothing to do with just calling people fat morons. Sorry, but no one likes a shamer.

Surprised?

Barack Obama is a ninja.

pretty pretty princess

I completely love this Princess Series by Dina Goldstein. It's been really interesting seeing my niece and her friends obsessions with the Disney Princess characters. Disney's princess campaign definitely wasn't at this place when I was a kid. We mostly played imagination games and I never even owned a Barbie Doll. My niece is all and only about the Princess action. Anyways, I'd love to see this exhibit in person.

get with it

The Gold Line extending to East LA, Expo Light Rail Downtown to Culver City Extension Plans set (in all hope) for a 2010 opening...
Is LA finally gearing up to Get Moving as well as get Google Public Trans Directions?

new fungus

I just showed this to lesbian cafe owner, who then kinda vomited in her mouth a little...

Iran...

Iran's Disputed Election

why am i up so early?

New Crap Email from a Dude courtesy of Crap: The Blog one of my fave features of site de Lezebel. It's always nice to remember that no matter how weird things can get with the opposite sex, at least I'm not making out with anyone who comes in their pants, then calls me an STD ridden whore. And Good Morning, top of the day to you all!

Sometimes - it's just too surreal - an intelligent Prez -

well, it's called tmi for a reason

I was just looking at my old blog, the one I had before this dear little hotmess of a thing, and saw this old poem of mine I wrote about 8ish? years ago. When I moved to LA from NY someone had passed this piece along to a woman who read it. She contacted me and asked me to perform it at some huge corporate charity gala out here. I was to be paid $300 to read for 2 minutes, so I was all like - yeayaw!

We were supposed to come in earlier that week (myself and the 4 other female poets - this was a benefit to raise money for an established and celebrity funded Violence Against Women Awareness program) and just do our pieces in front of the companies board members. I performed my piece for them, and then the next day I received a phone call asking me if I could take out all the swear words as well as specific body part references. I told them, yes. I mean, all words are are a cover for subtext. Plus I needed the cash, so...Whatever. Then, later on that day they called back to inform me that they could not have me perform and that I could still come and pick up my check....for the trouble. I did.

While I have never laid claim to being some great or even mediocre poet (man...I just write to get myself by) I was a wee bit upset by this to say the least. The other women had pieces that, well, to put it one way, weren't angry (safer for a corporate board?) This older lady had a piece about a father molesting her and it was incredibly baby-ied down, like, victim style and had this elaborate repetition involving her holding a teddy bear.

I was one of 2 twenty somethings that were set for the performance, and you know, I think this reflects that. I was raped when I was 16. I was a virgin. The guy who did this to me was part of my high-school group of friends. I didn't speak about it for a long time, I never processed it or even understood it as being rape (you really don't learn what date-rape is...until...) I never started speaking up about these things until I went to college. I wrote this when I was in school. I never told my mother about it until about a year or so ago. After I was raped, the day after literally, I became anorexic/bulimic and struggled with that for about a decade. There was a lot of shit stewing sill when I wrote this one...

I haven't performed this piece in years. Whenever I used to, I always had women come up to me and thank me for sharing. They all had stories (and they, all strangers, then shared them with me) Don't we all. It's one thing to read my stuff, and it's an entirely different thing for me to perform this one. I performed in bars - and I played up the sexuality in the beginning - guys would holler - they thought I was doing some hot lesbian piece- and then it would get really, really, quiet. And yes, it is angry. But fuck man, that's part of the fucking process. I think it's bullshit to censure (which I felt happened to me) anyone who dares to talk, scream, or even fucking yell about the reality, about dealing, about coping, with these things, these realities which affect mostly every woman. In the world. From eating disorders (control-control-control issues) to violence, to rape, to molestation, to fillintheblankwiththatwhichhappenstoawomaneverysinglesecond. It is our job, and it is my job, to vocalize, to share, to spread, what I feel with an utmost urgency, a need to talk about it. We can't deal with what's hidden. So here is my angry, juvenile attempt of understanding what happened to me. And stayed with me. On prom night.

(Btw-About a year ago I met this woman out in LA. She's from my hometown. I never knew her from there. We have a mutual friend. Who told her about this. She told me, when I met her, that this same fellow, raped her too. She was in high-school. She was a virgin. I wonder what would have happened, if one of us, just one of us (and god knows how many he did this to) had spoken out. Had pressed charges....)

Prom night. Prom night senior year, so I asked her to skip the dance. Skip the dance and come over. You're just a sophmore; you have two more chances for prom. But me, I'm leaving this hot city. Leaving. And all I want is for you to come over.

She came over, and I showed her around my apartment. Showed her my collection of Bad Religion posters, showed her my living room, showed her my kitchen, showed her my bar. And I poured her a drink - a stiff screwdriver - I put a little of my special mix into it - my ladies mix - my mix for the special young sophmore with perky tits and a tight ass mix.

And I sat her on my couch - my balding brown and grey couch and she was wearing these shorts. These shorts were just asking to be fucked/just begging to be fucked. These white/tight/cordorouy shorts and I just wanted to stick my hand up there. I just wanted to take my fingers and press up into that little virgins box. That hot city/of lights/of lust/those hot shorts with those beautiful thighs/those creamy smooth thighs that I wanted to leave my cream all over.

She finished her drink/my special mix drink/it was already working/so i ran my fingers through her wild hair/I worked her neck towards my lips/i ran my hand up in between her beautiful thighs/her eyes rolled back as she stammered "I don't feel good - that drink was strange/so I whispered just relax baby/it's prom night/i'll take care of you/so i picked her up/threw her over my shoulder/brought her to my bed/and laid that sweet ass down.

It's such a hot city/such a hot night/let me take these clothes off for you/and i kept kissing her/i had to keep kissing her so she'd quit saying stop/and i had to keep ramming my tongue down her throat so she'd quit saying no/and i put her hands behind her head and told her

Now I really want to show you something/you're ready/you've waited your whole life for this/for me/my cock/so i showed her/and i pulled my dick out from my pants and got on top/her eyes were closed/she was blacked out/as i positioned myself for that tight virgin pussy/for that dry cunt/and i began to thrust/and began to thrust/and began to thrust.

When I finished/I put her back on the couch/wiped the blood from her thigh/fixed those little white shorts/she would never remember

she would never remember

it was prom night

and me

i'm leaving this hot city

america likes it when you're anorexic and quiet

I think Jezebel Dodai is an incredible editor. I also think she is quite a righteous lady. Thanks Dodai for getting to the fat of the matter. Hehehe.

Ditto's weight is the focus of seemingly every article and interview about/with her. It's sexist, and strangely enough, it feels weird this new fetishizing of her by the fashion industry for being the token fierce fat chick. To be a woman - to be loud - to be a fucking rock star - to be queer - to be fat- and not be apologizing for it - to not be i'm a sorry fat fuck about it - is what scares them. Ditto is a role model because she is a Strong woman, who fucking Wails, who fucking Kills it, who doesn't say Sorry I'm going to be a quiet repressed sad little skinny girl in the corner.

bloggin' much?

So - I haven't been at my job job all week - Hence the weeks outpouring of blogginess. My family has been going through an ordeal (to say the least, which, randomly enough and in total regards to this, I have and I will) so my days have been largely spent at the coffeeshop downstairs, which is where my bra broke this morning (although I do wish I had some wild story entwined with the breaking of it, some passionate and sordid affair - but alas, I have none).

I went to one of my favorite shops in Silver Lake today, and tried on some pretty new bras. The one I selected had no price tag on it, so I brought it over to the cashier. She informed me that it was $80. Don't they fucking recognize that there is a RECESSION going on??? Don't they realize that everyone has lost either their benefits (if they even had any) their jobs or most of their gawddamned hours???

I left with no bra. Maybe now I will go sit in the corner and cry about my privileged life slipping away. Or maybe I will just drink some cheap wine and keep fucking around on FB.

----Oh, and on another randomass note - Any of you notice what the owner of El Conquistador did to the Triangle Park Fountain right off Sunset and Edgecliffe? Thanks man! It looks like the fucking Lakers threw up on my block. Stop it already. (Have already made plans w/ the $5 man to paint it over like a rainbow late at night.)

Mystic

I was searching for a video of Mystic's - Once a Week from Cuts for Luck and Scars for Freedom today, only to turn up empty handed. Her album, released in 2001, goes down in the record book of being one of my Top 10 of all time.

She is all fierce poetry and wildlovemadness. Wikipedia informs me that of 07 she was working on a second album. Man - it's 09. When we gonna get to hear some more of her shit??? Check it Mystic on Myspace.



The only long bf/gf relationship I have ever been in was in college, which lasted about 4 years (both college and the boyfriend). I was quite bad at it, being that I was regularly, ahem, ummm...disloyal (to put it one way). It's not that I didn't love him (which I did tremendously), but..well, I'll spare you an analytical psycho-breakdown of my past history.

Once A Week remains to this day to be the closest approximation in song of how I feel about certain types of relationships. I mean, one day, one would hope, that I would find a person I'd want to last with, to stay together with. But..that's just never really been my style. It's confusing at times, being that our society is so obsessed with the idea of monogamy and this pretense that you can get everything from just one person (1. Not True 2. Btw, check out Divorce Rates....and add to this me not even getting into the fear the mainstream wishes to ingrain upon all single women that they will 1. Die Alone with cats watching them choke or 2. Must be a useless unloveable person if they are actually single past 20.) While there are many cultures and societies that have much more open views on love and lovers, ours is for sure not one of them. While my old friends continue to get married and babied up, I have to continue creating my own steps for a gameplan that was never laid out for me w/ societal instructions...Maybe I should just move to France ;)

So, think about it let me know how you feel
You either with or you not, let me know the deal

more condom fun for today...

Such tragedy could have been easily avoided.

things that make you go wtf!

I'm not even gonna bother talking about this or this but will skip straight to my less obvious WTF of the morning -Consent Condoms.

Intended as an anti-date rape device, this is the biggest FAIL I've seen since that tampon vampire marketing ad... And what's up with the endless repetition of "Be Adult." Be Adult? - Makes me think of that cheer - "Be Agressive! Be Be Agressive!"

4 minutes 8 seconds - let's bring back bulimia next

I'm not sure what this video does for me. So...let me just give myself a pop quiz.

How to Dirty Dance makes me:

A: Want to vomit my dinner.
B: Disgusted in the deepest most "america is so fucking sexually repressed kinda-way" so this is what we deserve i fucking guess.
C: Hopeful for the future, being that at least I am not a baby boomer at this concert.
D: Happy, because hey, even old white folk should learn how to grind.
E: Just keep adding to the ever-lengthening list from this week of what exactly "lame-ass shit and lame-ass people" are.
F: Excited to try out the sperm fish dance move at the Short Stop on Sunday.
G: Want to go get another drink.



Ummm. So, yeah, I've got cold vodka in the freezer. Peace Out kids!

Half-Mast Ass

Has anyone else been noticing the current down pouring of ass flashing sweeping through the streets of Eastish LA?

I was headed out for some vegan tom yum the other day, carrying along with me the hope that it would be the cure to my current cold (or pure exhaustion/or itsbecauseihavebeenpartyingwaaaaaytoomuch) symptoms. Along the way I counted two different male cracks exposed upon Sunset (and not by any homeless men, say, you know, going to the bathroom on the street as I have seen a number of times.) On my return trip, I counted 1 more, rendering the sick feelings to reemerge. A previous day at a sushi joint in Silver Lake, one of my girlfriends spotted lady crack at the sake bar. Last night, 2, count em, 2 different crackages from average joe's beaming through the smoky patio of the Red Lion. Oh, and one girl crotch, but (in her defense) well, she was clearly super wasted.

When I was in high school, many guys were into the boxer backsides hanging on out.
In college, girls in low hipped jeans showed off ass floss (g-strings for those not in the know) at all keggers and house parties.

So, my question, in this current time of recession and struggle, is, is this a backwards slide into a re-interpretation of past trends??? Or, has everyone just gotten too fucking lazy to cover up their cracks in public???

RocknRoll Community Garden

love sounds great

Killsonic @ Spaceland 09

See full set @ Good ol' Charlie Brown's Flickr.

Sweat. Dance. Hard. Harder.

June 11 - 2009 - 9pm -BBB takes over the Key Club

J.A.M. Sessions @ The Ford

Check out the awesome free music sessions @ The Ford.

I'm already RSVP'd for a couple of the sessions. For instance,

SqueezeBox 101
Mon. June 8 at 7:00 p.m.

From Zydeco, to Tex-Mex, to Cajun music, session leader Otoño Lujan of Los Pochos involves participants in playing the accordion. If you don’t have one, we can provide some.

FREE
Reserve a spot by calling the Ford Box Offices at 323 461-3673.

From DIY Drumming, to Flaamenco Dance, to Son Jarocho dance moves, this is a pretty sweet program. Thanks Ford!

JAM Sessions

smurfette

i hear her silent cries
past the mojave
sonic booms of sadness though the desert night
hold on
hold on
my love

i hear you
and i wish i could hold your hand
and i wish i could wipe the tears
from your alabaster face
and i wish i could leave some chamomile to steep for you
and i wish i could make you happy
and i wish i could make you know
utterly and infinitely
just how loved you are
and i wish i could supply you with people
to surround you
whom you could always trust
and i wish i could brush your hair
and sing you to sleep
the sweetest dreams
and to wake up
with the taste of hope on your tongue
and the breathe of life in your nostrils
and i wish i could just hold your hand right now
and tell you
that it's all going to be ok
that it's all going to be alright

i love you my little one
i love you my beautiful one
l love you
with a fierceness unknown to all others
be strong
be strong
be life

i hear her silent cries
past the mojave
sonic booms of sadness though the desert night
hold on
hold on
my love

we'll show you who's post-punkiest

Fuxshitup!


Photo by KTLA

Emails From Mom...Cont.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

I'm just passing this thought along .....

Have you ever wondered if one of the one dollar bills in your wallet were ever in a strippers's butt crack?

If not, you're wondering now.

Have a nice day . :)

i can't sleep

Maybe it was the 12 hours of sleep I got last night after a month of getting about 3 or 4 hours of sleep all night. Or maybe it was the caffeine today. Or maybe it's because of the chords and keys and notes running through my head. Or maybe it's because of my overpacked overscheduled overstimulated days. Or maybe it's because of people, and things, and thoughts, and confusions, and directions, and desires. Or maybe...fuck it. This is KILLSONIC at No on 8 March. Pics by Jason Savvy.

S.T.F.U.

When the fuck is this guy going to get taken off the fucking air already!!!

i can hear the mexican radio....

I'm at work till at least midnight tonight.

I killed a cockroach in my apartment before coming here. Strangely enough, I don't feel any remorse about it.
I do, however, take it as another sign of incompetent building management. As well as the swiftly approaching summertime heat.

Keeping out of trouble all week. Practicing. Running. Yogaing. Clean Clean living. Until Friday that is...

Sipping on watermelon juice....Setting up drums...Troubleshooting RF...