my orthodox boyfriend

When I was in Denver one of my cousins friends developed a wee bit of a crush on me and followed me around, like, constantly.
My sis and mom thought this was really funny.
He is short and small, but that's probably just because he's like 12 or something.
Anyways, the last night I was at their house, he asked for my email address. I figure, why not eh?

Subject: Hi!

Dear D, Hi, it's me Avi. I have a question for you. I remember you telling me at the Olesky's that your allergic to wheat. So the means that you don't wash for bread. So how does that all work out? Do you not wash at all ever? I hope you and Michelle are okay and I hope to see you in town again soon.

Love Avi

p.s. Two things. Just in case you couldn't read my handwriting, my email address is ..... And please tell me if my questions are annoying you.

So, I write him back...(btw non jewy friends, the whole washing thing is about prayers, and well, ummm.... about praying and washing before you eat..like that)

Hi Avi!
Hope you are doing well. I am back in Los Angeles and it feels like summertime here.
So, in regards to your question, I always wash my hands before eating. Anything. I just don't eat/wash for bread.
I am not an Orthodox but a secular Jew (cultural manifestations of Jewishness that are not specifically religious). This means that in general, in my daily life, I do not do any of the typical religious prayers and washings that you might do.
I hope that cleared that up.
No questions are annoying. I had a teacher a long time ago tell me "The only silly question is the one which goes unasked."


Just realized at this moment that I didn't wash my hands before eating today. But they are clean...so fuck off!

and today I got MY LIFE in the mail...

Dear D, Thank's for explaining the washing thing. Now, Since I know alot about you, time for you to hear some things about me. I go to Herzl/Rmha for school and I like football. I like the Broncos, the Panthers, and the Lions. I hope to go play in the NFl when I grow up and I don't like eating steak, chicken or any other things like that. It snowed here again and does not feel like summer. I also hate math. I hope you are well.

Love, Avi

Awww shucks. This kid is up for a world of ridicule if he plans on being a vegetarian footballer. The whole weekend he was asking me veggie questions, or what I like to call "fringe dweller" questions. These are generally the type of folk who are on the fence-line about eating meat and who really poke around to find out more. They are asking for facts, and facts are what you must give them.

I wonder tho-..Orthodox football hopeful..are footballs kosher?

Anyways, cute kid. But it would just never work. I was a major math geek growing up. Math club and all...